Throwing mad shade since 197nunyah...

What are you inviting into your life?

2012-01-30T12:25:00.002-05:00

This morning while at Yoga, the Yogi in a spooky calming voice reminded us that while in child's pose we should make an effort to "meditate on what you are inviting into your life." In all the years I've been practicing Yoga I can honestly say that it takes some time for me to get to a place where I can mediate while in class, my mind is usually very busy. This morning as the class started all I could think about was getting through the vinyasa and off to the shower so I could make it to work.

But today as we reached the fourth sequence I almost felt as if I was watching myself. I watched my body glide through the poses, my mind cleared and I could hear my inner voice. I heard the same word repeated as I reminded myself to open my heart and let in what I want in my life. At the end of class I sat in child pose and mulled over the word that had come to mind. Peace. The only energy I want to allow into my life is that of a peaceful nature. I don't think my life is filled with too much drama but there are moments when I let things so insignificant get me all riled up therefore ruining my zen. I'm going to work on letting less of that happen starting today.

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I was also reminded that my practice is not only about remaining fit (in body) but furthering my connection to the universe. Let me go and re-read my chakra post.

On Monday I never go to work.

2012-01-27T05:00:00.000-05:00

If only kids knew how easy they have it. CJ sings this song all the time and then tells me I should stay home from work. I tried explaining to him that Mommy can't just "never go to work" but it doesn't always click. But I can dream, right?

Thanks to They Might be Giants.

SOPA and PIPA

2012-01-18T10:49:00.000-05:00

I can honestly say I wasn't paying much attention to this SOPA and PIPA movement. Not because I thought it didn't apply to me but because I was sure the US Government would act like there were bigger issues facing this country and FOCUS. Clearly I was wrong. In the face of double dip recession, high unemployment rates, a housing crisis and voter suppression using Jim Crow antics the United States Congress is choosing to focus on Piracy. *Slaps forehead*

Today tons of sites have decided to "Blackout" their feeds so that we can see just what the world would look like without access or rather access controlled by the entertainment industry and government. This video explains it best.

Protect IP Act Breaks the Internet from Kirby Ferguson on Vimeo.

This doesn't just affect bloggers, it affects us all.
Go here to sign the petition to STOP SOPA, Fight for the Future.

Friday inspiration

2012-01-13T09:39:00.001-05:00

This morning after Yoga I came across this video on my FB friend and Yoga mentors page. I was in awe. The fluidity in her movement, the strength in her back, legs and arm, the peacefulness. *JUMPS UP AND DOWN*

This is why I do Yoga! It's more than just a way for me to stay fit, it's a way for me to connect mind, body and soul in a peaceful way.

There were a few comments about it being too sexy, or taking away from the art but I disagree. This is beauty, art and I am inspired to keep up my practice.

NAMASTE

Happy Birthday, Happy Born day, Happy Earth Strong TO ME!

2012-01-12T11:05:00.000-05:00

Sorry Dee I had to cut you out :)

Instead of just telling you guys how awesome and wise I am on this my 37th birthday (You know it's true), I thought I'd share some of my birthday traditions, saying and must do/haves on this day a.k.a "The day an angel graced the earth! "

Favorite quote:
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: "I wish no gifts, only presence." ~Author Unknown

Birthday Breakfast:
Tea and Pain au chocolate.

Favorite response to how old I actually am:
You need to stop lying and show me some i.d. (what can I say good black don't crack, sorry my vanilla hued folks).

Must Do:

Get eyebrows done by Anastasia (costly yes, but damn it it's my BIRTHDAY)
Listen to my birthday mix which includes only Bill Withers, Beres Hammond and Robert Nesta Marley! Nothing but the best for me!
Speak to my husband at midnight. He always sings me a song, today it was "I want to spend the night"

Take a picture of the newspaper headline. This will make it easier for CJ to give me the Cosby-eque birthday party at 60.

Must haves:

Phone call from my mom asking me how it feels to be (insert age). nothing makes me giggle like that silly conversation.
Calls from both of my sisters and my homies Dee and GG. Always the funniest, always the best!
In the last 5 years a dance with CJ. He loves it, though he often ends up break dancing . Go figure.

So that's it. I'm 37 and I feel awesome. I am at a place in my life where there aren't many things I want for or need. I have a family that loves and supports me. A husband and child that adore me as I do them and friends that make the worst day better.

Quote of the day:

2012-01-05T22:55:00.001-05:00

You must be what it is that you’re seeking. This is a universe of attraction and energy. You can’t have a desire to attract a mate who’s confident, generous, non-judgmental, and gentle, and expect that desire to be manifested if you’re thinking and acting in nonconfident, selfish, judgmental, or arrogant ways…

~ Wayne Dyer

Reflecting on who I am.

2012-01-05T22:54:00.001-05:00

In an effort to make some changes on the blog and what I want to do with it, I had to sit down and look at who I am. I do this exercise on occasion, usually when I'm at a crossroad in my life. The first I cried. In the middle of the studio I cried, it took a knowing hand from my Yogi to calm me. He explained that often times we lose touch with who we are and our place in the universe, this exercise is a way to get back to that.

I am
A spiritual being
A powerhouse
A mother and nurturer
A wife and confidant
A healer
A friend
A daughter and granddaughter
A giver of life
The center of the Universe, yet graceful intertwined within it.
I am honest
As strong as the trunk of the Baobab tree
And as gentle as a kiss from the wind.

Most importantly I am comfortable in being who I am regardless of what others think or do.

Love and Hip Hop

2012-01-03T05:00:00.003-05:00

So I've been watching Love and Hip Hop and unlike most I don't feel the need to comment on how we as a people need to do better. That's a given especially if the show is on VH1. It's 100% clear that reality TV is not about showing Black women doing big things, it's about ratchet behavior and that's why we watch. The ratchet behavior is not unique to women of color so if any other race of people want to debate I will point them to RHOBH and Mob Wives.. THE END.

Anyway once I got past the stupid fights and discussions about getting money I realized the issues highlighted on this show are what the relationship blogs cover and women deal with everyday. Most of the women watching the show have been or are currently in some of the same situations being shown, but they are cussing and tsk tsking the women on the show. Why? Because it makes the pain of dealing with your own f-ed up situation easier.

There are several characters on this show but I know for certain I have watched friends go through the trials Chrissy and Emily have gone through. Chrissy not knowing the future of her relationship because the man is caught up in being a man child, and Emily with the cheating father of her child and her misconception of what real love is... REAL ISSUES. The only difference is that there is no camera shoved in the everyday woman's face 24/7.

Even Yandy, she's in a male dominated business where on some level the men are treating her like they treat the women they sleep with, showing her little respect and that doesn't work for business.I totally understand this feeling because I work in a field where men dominate, I've just learned not to take their BS. Yandy will learn that too, and when she starts separating business and friends she will become even more of a success. In short, I'm not saying don't voice your opinion about what's happening because that show is pure comedy gold, but don't act all surprised when the women cry or say stupid things like I love him... we've all been there and though it's TV it's still easier to lift up another woman than to bash her.

Very Superstitious

2012-01-02T20:16:00.000-05:00

Every year before the 31st I do two things, I clean my house from top to bottom and then I cook a special meal. There hasn't been one year since I've been on my own that this doesn't happen. And though I'm sure if I didn't wash every stitch of clothing we'd still be okay I continue to do it. Old wives tales passed from generation to generation just have a way of sticking with you. So here are my New Year's MUST Do's (Thank Dee for this post).

1. Your home must be cleaned spic and span. No one wants to bring in the new year with the last years dirt. And there is to be no sweeping until the 2nd. Why? because you sweep out the new years blessings. I will say this has become harder with a 5 year old because he is ALWAYS dropping things but I still do it.

2. All clothes must be cleaned. I guess that follows the same thought of old dirt, new year. And as much as I hate laundry this one is definitely one I wouldn't mind giving up.

3. Collard Greens and Hoppin' John. Collard greens bring wealth and black eyed peas bring luck in the new year. There is always a pot of collards here and this year I have to say they were magnificent but I can't get into the peas, so I am hoping the good luck will follow me anyway.

4. The man you plan to spend the rest of your year with needs to be with you at midnight. Some say he should be walking through the door at midnight but I guess that's harder these days.

So there it is the superstitions I live by even if logic defies. Share your superstitions in the comment section!

Happy New Year to you all!

2011-12-31T21:08:00.001-05:00

Another fresh new year is here . . .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!

~~~~ William Arthur Ward

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, good night

2011-12-30T08:47:00.001-05:00

Ah the end of the year post! In 2010 I wrote a two part EOY post one about my personal life, the other about the world and how I see things, this year it's all about me.

Professional: At the end of 2010 I started the balls moving on a new position at my current firm and guess what it's paying off. I've become a LOT more vocal even when the shy girl in me tells me not to and I see it taking root. We had two "conferences" this year and in both I was asked to share my ideas more often because of my unique prospective and that made me feel great. I have to admit that though I spoke up on occasion, it wasn't as often as it should have been. I let the climate of my industry (which is quite scary and unstable) scare me into not always saying when things were not right. That time has changed, God willing it pays off.

The bigger part of all of this is that I decided that 14 years in this business has been great but I'm ready to give back my community. I've always said when CJ gets older I would volunteer, well I took my first steps towards that with the clothing/food drive I held and there is so much more to come.As much as I love finance and analytics I've decided that my passion for it is dwindling.I want more for me, for my community and in order to get it I have to be a part of the change not just sitting around waiting for the world to hand me something all wrapped in a pretty bow.

Personal:
Self Revelation ALERT:
I'll admit it I'm pushy, I'm opinionated and if crossed I will be your worst enemy, but if you know me then you know it's all done out of love. A few years back I made a promise to myself to keep a tight circle after a heart wrenching incident with a friend, and not to let people take me to that place again. Over the last year I let a few people in and one to my own detriment, but because of the personal growth here in my little cocoon, my anger with this person only lasted a moment and I was able to move on. I've realized I can't heal the world and honestly don't want to. A few minutes of meditating revealed the simplest principles to me, that no matter who the person is their anger, resentment and low self esteem is not my issue. I'm good and will be good long after I cut them off.

With that said I feel less crippled when it comes to this blog and what I write. Good Ole Smarty's consistently reminds me that YES others may have written about it, but not from my perspective, so here's to hoping that I can carve out the time to give you more of ME. I promise it will only sting a little bit.

Friends: This year I've established that my support system (outside of family) is AMAZING! They want for me things I didn't even know I wanted and that is awesome. Some of you are new to this lovely circle of trust but you've only made it better for me in here. A few of you are a testament to what should really come of Social Networking and I love ya.

Family: This year I've realized even more how strong my family is. I wouldn't change that for the world, what I will say is we need to get together more often. The holidays are just not enough! Christmas only solidified that for me with all the men in the basement talking and laughing and the women upstairs it just felt right, not the separation of the two but the warmth in the house. I want to feel that way more often. So I guess I'll be the one that initiates the getting together and I don't mean to EAT (mmhmm I know how y'all are).

Fitness: I have never struggled with my weight, nor have I ever not worked out but this year I took it to another level. For the last 12 years I've been practicing Yoga it is my first love. I can go on and on about the benefits from helping me through my labor and delivery, keeping me toned through the pregnancy and showing me how channel the negative energy in my world and turn it into positives. Hatha Vidya will always be a part of my regiment! But this year I wanted to focus on some good old strengthening enter Crossfit ( thanks to the Evil Terita) and Reformer Pilates (thanks to Jaded for the gift certificate) OH MY! I haven't felt this strong since I danced. So I'm promising myself to find a way to fit them in more regularly and by fit them in I mean financially, Pilates is quite pricey so it may come down to two classes a month.

I also started living a Paleo lifestyle introduced to me by Terita and The JadedNYer. I can proudly admit that for the majority of the time I've adapted this lifestyle I've been 100% Paleo, even with some of my sugary addictions (The Holidays and the week before my fast well yeah not so much). Eating clean has been good for me and for the Giants. The Mr. hasn't had a blood sugar reading over 100 since September and I found out this week, his Dr is thinking of cutting down his meds. AWESOME right?! I'm not waiting for an answer it is.

So that's my year in review, I don't make resolutions and I'm sure I forgot somethings but *throws confetti* who cares that's all in the past and I'm looking to the future!

Thank you for reading, sharing and commenting on my rants and random thoughts!

HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVIES!

Giving Thanks.

2011-12-20T00:00:00.005-05:00

"Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more than I do.' ~Khalil Gibran

A month ago I sent out an email to bloggers, friends and family asking them to donate to an amazing program that helps Girls escape sex trafficking and start a new life (GEMS). I thought it would be nice to just extend the invitation to share the many blessing that we've been given with others, but in all honesty I didn't expect many to help. I knew the handful of people that would and I was okay with that. I was VERY wrong, of the 30+ people I sent the email to more than half responded and helped. I was blown away.

Let me explain, it's not that I think people are selfish and don't want to help but because I'm the kind of person that just doesn't depend on others to get things done. So even when I include others I will usually place that in the back of my mind and just take it all on myself. It took everything in my being to send emails with details, follow up emails with reminders of deadlines etc...but I did it and it paid off. With the help of so many of you, we were able to donate at least two of everything on their list and tons of clothes to help the girls transition. Here are a few snap shots (there was so much more my office mates can attest to how crazy it got).

A few of the things we collected.

First off I would like to thank the people that donated.

* Arie Rich of KMP, I've met a lot of bloggers but no one is as generous and kind hearted as you are. Many Thanks!

* My Girl BranBogs of The Chic Factory. I wish you had time to have brunch when we linked up but there are many days to come!

*Divas and Dorks, I know you're schedule is busy and I appreciate you taking the time to meet me.

* MissHartNYC of O So Chic You took time on your birthday to make sure I got your donations and I thank you. My biceps thank you to because I carried all of them into the city no need to work out.

*Glennisha from Glennisha the writer I can't express how thankful I am to have met you. Too often you don't find people on the same page as you and when you do it's a great thing. the donation plus the conversation brightened my day.

*OnlyoneDivaDee from Diva Dee's discussions The laughs, the donation all awesome.

*TeritaTweets from REAL LIFE! Next time we are having lunch and it will be an anti-paleo wonderful time. Damn meetings! Oh how could I forget how you have kept me from going off on others in this month. Thank You!

*Julia from REAL LIFE! Not only did we have a hilarious conversation your donations were awesome.

* Michele from REAL LIFE! I haven't seen you in almost a year but when I needed you, you were there. You're a great friend and I am lucky to have you in my life.

*Naimah2U Brooklyn's own and someone I consider a friend. You're one of the few that just get me. Thank You!

*Two newbies the ladies of TheAFLife.com, Thank you for your donation.

And those of you that encouraged me through all of this.

* Coogie Cruz from "The Love of Art and War" Word can't express how much I love you. If it wasn't for you I might not have made it up there to deliver things. More importantly your constant words of encouragement kept me on course. Love ya Chi-Chi

*TheJadedNyer . A lot of people owe you their lives and they don't even know it. All the silly conversations, text messages and emails were blessings (even that old sappy one that made me cry on the street) and I thank you. The Empire will be great.

*Smarty's World, That last conversation we had mannnnnn!! I can't explain how much your words meant to me that night, you're constant encouragement to be great (outside the office) means the world to me.

*Bangs and a Bun, You only typed a few lines to address my moment of weakness but at that moment it felt like a novel.

LASTLY my buddy Nadine from High school. It's been 19 years but when we met it felt like we were hanging out between classes. That's AMAZING, and I am so happy to have you back in my life.

The entire project came together thanks to the ladies of GEMS, specifically this woman. I won't post her name because I wouldn't want my named posted just anywhere but she was the guiding light through it all. I hope the girls have an amazing Christmas party and I'll be in touch.

GEMS.

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Special shout outs to CleoSunshine and Shelly Shell, the Spring will be here before you know it and you're first on my contact list!

GEMS accepts donations all year long so you don't have to wait for my next step to donate! Give of your heart!

Christmas is in the air

2011-12-19T09:01:00.000-05:00

So I thought with the holidays upon us I would keep the Monday post light. I'm sure I'm not the only one that is cleaning , prepping and cooking like a crazy person so here is a play list of songs that have kept me on my game and not in the loony bin :). There are a few Christmas songs because I have never been much of a jingle bells kind of gal but there are some songs that I love to hear this time of year. So here we go!

This is my favorite clean the bathroom song. I can sing as loud as I want and my brushes are in there to double as a mic. Can you say winning?!

Listen you all need to get into Switch. I think they made some of the best love songs, I'm not about their upbeat music.

What is Christmas without these songs? It's not Christmas without them.

I introduced CJ to Christmas in Hollis while we decorated the tree and he loved it! He loved it so much I had to hide the CD it was on so he would go to bed.

I added this last night after it played on the radio last night. I now have it on my iPod so the Giants will eventually hate this song. hehehe

So what are your go to songs this time of year?

She's making a list and checking it twice

2011-12-13T05:16:00.000-05:00

YES it's that time again, Christmas shopping, Holidays stress and my two week vacation (4 days and counting). I've gotten through most of my shopping and a lot of it was done through sites having sales which was awesome. This evening as I went through my emails I couldn't help but laugh at some of these deals and to think who do I dislike enough to buy..... So here are some of the deals I would get for people I didn't like.

#5.Half off a Scandinavian Cozy! Can someone explain to me why my beer needs such a fancy cover?

#4.Custom made bobble head. UHM they are just scary to begin with but imagine if you got one of someone you hated.

#3. 2 poetry slam tickets.... Y'all already know how I feel about Poetry.

#2.50% off Mc.Donald's. This is just ridiculous! I know times are hard but if I'm going to spend $13 it's not going to be on Big Macs.

and the number one gift I would give someone I disliked (DRUM ROLL)
#1. 2 pairs of Pajama jeans for $19! YES kbg deals almost got blocked in my emails for this deal.

For the life of me I can't understand these. I just don't.

Missing children

2011-12-07T09:57:00.001-05:00

***UPDATE: JANICE LEWIS WAS FOUND YESTERDAY IN BROOKLYN, IT WAS A TIP FROM TWITTER THAT HELPED FIND HER**********

Here are the details of the missing girl. Please if you have any information call the police, call the news station let someone know what you've seen. These kids and their families need your help! I am a mom, an aunt and a sister I can't imagine what I would do if this was a member of my family.

NYC:

This is Janice, a 17 year old autistic girl. Yesterday around 2:15pm she boarded the Uptown bound D train and hasn't been seen since. She was last seen wearing Her Brother is on twitter and is asking that if you see her to call the 44th precinct (718) 590-5511. NYers keep your eyes and cellphone out.
Here is her picture:

NY 12 is airing the story and ask that you call these numbers if you see anything 800-577-8477 or (718)590-5511.

New York New York a helluva town

2011-12-02T11:46:00.001-05:00

Last week The Jaded NYer sent me a link to a blog written by yet another transplant (that's what I call all of you non-natives) complaining about all the things our beautiful city lacked.To say I was annoyed would be the understatement of the year. Not only because the writer was bashing my city but he/she was doing it unfairly.

The complaints weren't about the normal things like how dirty it is (stay out of tourist traps) or about the overcrowding (don't live in Manhattan) but about nature.I was confused because the comments were all confirmation of this falsehood. All the yes NY doesn't have anything but concrete and rude people talk got me thinking if any of these people actually knew the city. The answer is NO, all they know is Manhattan. If you limit yourself those few little miles of land in my opinion you forfeit the right to hymn and haw about this city because you haven't explored it.

As a native Brooklynite I know that the book "A tree grows in Brooklyn" is not just a catchy title. There really are trees, grass and if you're lucky a friendly squirrel. The city is not some barren concrete place but a cluster of amazing boroughs that give you something different every visit. You want nature, go to Brooklyn or head out to where I live. This was my front yard a few days ago:

Nothing but nature surrounding me, the same day I took this picture I saw a rabbit run across my street. I love it. I like to think my home is a retreat from the hustle and bustle, but when I want to be in the thick of things I jump the LIRR and head into the city. Just one more beautiful thing about this city, you have options. In no other city can you experience so much culture by simply crossing the street or taking the train one stop. Only in the GREATEST city in the world.

My advice to all you transplants is get from behind your computers, grab your metro card and go explore. If you don't do that then I don't want to hear another bad word about it.

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I never understood how people can complain about a place they are visiting, you would never hear me bashing you in your home.

No Mirrors in my Nana's house.

2011-12-01T05:03:00.005-05:00

Last night when I got home after doing a million things I sat down to talk to CJ about his day. He started off with the regular conversation about his friends L and T and something about a Burping contest (boy humor escapes me). As he continued on and we giggled he got serious and said one of the boys said I'm a little brown boy. *sigh* I asked him why but he wouldn't tell me. He seems confused, he seemed angry, my heart broke. He didn't want to talk anymore, it didn't matter what we said, I suspect he saw the anger in our eyes.

This morning when he climbed into my bed I gave him a hug and kissed his forehead. He started talking. Mommy I'm proud to be a little brown boy and I told that boy so. But why does that matter? Fuuufcckkkkkk why now he's 5 years old!!! I went through the speech I rehearsed from the time we decided to send him to this school. He understood, and just like that the topic changed he was a power ranger again. It didn't change for me, I sat there angry. Hell I'm still angry.

The speech for 5 is different than the speech for 6, for 8, for 10 etc, but the thought of actually having to have the words prepared makes me want to spit fire. But after this morning I am confident that my words will guide him and he will be able to navigate this tricky world of Post Racial BS. I am sure he knew there was a difference in his skin and his best bud L's (he's no dummy) I want him to know that is the ONLY difference.

The title of this post is a book I read to CJ every night its a beautiful book and I read it to him this morning before he left.

Lyrics to the song by Ysay M. Barnwell

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
There were no mirrors in my Na's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).

I never knew that my skin was too black.
I never knew that my nose was too flat.
I never knew that my clothes didn't fit.
I never knew there were things that I'd missed,
cause the beauty in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun);
...was in her eyes.

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).

I was intrigued by the cracks in the walls.
I tasted, with joy, the dust that would fall.
The noise in the hallway was music to me.
The trash and the rubbish just cushioned my feet.
And the beauty in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).
...was in her eyes.

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).

The world outside was a magical place.
I only knew love.
I never knew hate,
and the beauty in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).
...was in her eyes.

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).

"Chil', look deep into my eyes."
"Chil', look deep into my eyes."

*Writing a letter to the teacher now and fighting the urge to go to that school and get all Assata Shakur on these people*

The words you speak hold power

2011-11-30T05:00:00.019-05:00

There is a school of thought that believes that the way you use a word changes the meaning. I had a long drawn out discussion with a friend about calling herself or anyone else a Nigga, Nigger or any other form of the word and at the end we just agreed to disagree.

I consider myself to be open minded when it comes to the world but I will never believe that I can change the meaning and deep rooted history of a word. I give the serious side eye to those that tell me they use the word so they can reclaim it. Who exactly are we taking it back from since it never belonged to us? If that's the case then I will just start calling people anything I'd like. Pocketbook for instance, Yo my pocketbook what's going on? See how that makes no sense. Neither does using the other word.

The words we use have power, they have meaning and I don't care how many times you wave the flag of change it doesn't change that.

I stumbled upon this video recently, take out the word Pimp replace it with Nigger and tell me you still think it's okay. And while you're at it stop calling dudes pimps and yourself hoes... Do better, be better!

Jonathan B. Tucker: Pimpin' from Park Triangle Productions on Vimeo.

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This post came about after I heard a woman on a crowded LIRR train tell her son to STFU Ni**A and a white woman told her friend "They act like animals that's why we treat them like it". The first time I heard this was in a cab, I have to remember to keep my headset on when I'm out on the LIRR, it will save me from the madness

From Talking the talk to Walking the walk

2011-11-29T05:00:00.005-05:00

A few weeks back I wrote a post "Lucky ones get a chance at a normal life " which ended with me wanting to do more. Well the time has come for me to leave my comfy cocoon and walk the walk. The people at GEMS are having a holiday In-Kind to put together gifts for the girls and women they serve. I've reached out to all my friends in NYC both bloggers and non-bloggers and now I am reaching out to you my readers.

So often we are told that sex trafficking is a third world issue, It is NOT. Currently New York meet 7-9 of the conditions thought critical to a comprehensive anti-trafficking legal framework*, this however does not mean that the laws on the books are being enforced by judges, prosecutors and law enforcement. In short it is very much our issue and in our backyards.

GEMS (Girls Education and Mentoring Services) and their "Girls are Not for Sale" statement has been making strides in shining light on the abuse of young girls. Here are a few facts pulled from their website.

GEMS was founded in 1998 by Rachel Lloyd, a young woman who had been commercially sexually exploited as a teenager
Girls Educational and Mentoring Services’ (GEMS) mission is to empower girls and young women, ages 12–24, who have experienced commercial sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking to exit the commercial sex industry and develop to their full potential

The InKind accepts donations year round, however the drive for the holiday season is most important because of the loneliness the girls feel during this time. If you are interested in helping click here to see a list of items and contact me at the email address. These are everyday items we often take for granted. The goal is to have all donations together by December 15th.

If you do not live in NYC and are interested in starting your own drive or would just like to donate please send an email to here and I will point you in the right direction.

*The Polaris project 2011 State Ratings. More info can be found here: Sex Trafficking in the US.

Blessings abound

2011-11-28T05:00:00.001-05:00

I had every intention of writing a post addressing the ego trip I dealt with earlier this week because I was angry, confused and annoyed. Despite the ill feelings and advice to let the person know that I saw what she was doing I decided to be zen like and just leave it alone. Then after being surrounded by my awesome family on Thursday I thought a post on what I'm thankful for would be a better for a Monday.

I'm thankful for my family. We are by no means perfect but we are a family that loves and supports each other. Nothing that I do would ever be possible without them.

I'm thankful for my job. YES I complain sometimes but I am still thankful to have a career I love and a firm that I believe in. I've seen too many people unemployed for long periods of time to not be thankful that I am able to pay my mortgage and keep food on the table.

I'm thankful for home. We worked hard to buy our house, we shed many tears during the process. Now we shed tears of joy because we love being home owners.

I'm thankful for the Giants. Sure they take up a lot of space and CJ is really just getting to a place where he is comfortable with his long legs and arms but these two bring me joy. The Mr. balances out my high stress, fast paced mind and CJ reminds us both to stay grounded.

I'm thankful for a healthy mind, heart and body.

I'm thankful for my friends. New, old, long term and short-term you've all served to be a blessing in my life. I'm even thankful for the people I'm no longer friends with as you've taught me to be a better friend to others.

There are too many reasons for me to be thankful and happy and I won't block that by putting any more energy into other's people negativity.

"Black is beautiful but Black isn't Power. Knowledge is Power"

2011-11-08T05:00:00.002-05:00

Nothing has ever rang as true as the quote above. I've been sitting on the link to this movie for sometime, mainly because I didn't know exactly what I wanted to say about being Black in America. Being Black in America isn't a monolithic experience because as with any people we are diverse in our culture. But what we do share is a history, steeped in oppression and violence only to produce some of the greatest minds, leaders and works of art.

The last week in politics with the "Their Blacks and our Blacks" getting thrown around like it's 1930 it got me thinking,how do others see themselves when it comes to being Black in America. Are they content with the two depressing hours wrapped in a bow on CNN, or the one sided views the hollywood machine produces or is there more? And how many of us can look back and say I know my history, the leaders, the sacrifice. And do we honor that in our everyday lives. I know that I do and that I'm teaching C.J too (and sometimes the Mr.), but I'm one of several million.

So with that said there is a very powerful documentary out that I believe all of us need to try and see. Not only as reminder of the sacrifice but also as a reminder that things haven't changed as much as we'd like to think. Yes I'm aware our our history didn't start on the shores of America, nor will they end but it is important to know what happened on these shores so that we can finally live up to the expectations set before us and make the changes we all long for.

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I pray for the day people of color in America realize what strong stock they come from and stop with the racial slurs disguised as compliments, killing each other over land that is not theirs and oh so much more. I say this prayer with a heavy heart.

Losing Focus

2011-11-07T05:00:00.002-05:00

This week my mind has been everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. I've been incredibly unfocused and if you know me you know that's not a good thing.

I've been focusing on the future of this blog. The content, strong opinions and how to tie it all together.
I've been focusing on my career and how to make a strategic move that has become NECESSARY!
I've been focusing on my family.
And lastly I've been focusing on C.J and making sure he stays ahead of the other kids in school.

The only thing I haven't focused on is ME, THE individual. Not the Mom, Not the Wife, Not the Career Woman. Just plain old ME and what makes me happy. I've been so focused on making sure everyone around me was happy and doing well I forgot that I should be happy and healthy too. So that starts today because even if it's something as simple as going to get my brows threaded I need to make sure all my wants and needs are met, or I'm no good to anyone.

I'm also going to start thinking in the now, sometimes I get caught up in the what if of life and I then if something goes wrong I freak.Clearly that goes against all my Yoga training, so it's time to own up and remember that I can't see or control the future and stop trying too. None of these revelations are new to me, it's a constant battle for me to remember that I have to put myself first.

I know a lot of my readers feel the same way, so where do you plan to start? What are you waiting for?

Only can the spirit turn the world around.

2011-10-28T00:00:00.000-04:00

Last night I watched the Great Pumpkin with CJ and I was reminded how great television when I was growing up. From School House Rock to The Electric Company, Sesame Street to the Muppets we learned new things every time we watched TV. I can still sing every word to conjunction junction. Imagine the glee when I saw there was a new Muppet movie coming out!!! YES another opportunity to bridge my past and CJ's present. *does happy dance* It's one of my favorite things share with him and I think he gets a kick out of knowing him mom and dad watched some of the same shows.

After the Great pumpkin went off I asked CJ did he want to watch my favorite Muppets episode and he did. As we watched it I realized not only did we learn and grow intellectually we grew as people. There were some really awesome lessons on the Muppet show (Thank You Jim Henson). I got a little teary eyed watching CJ try to pick up every word but after the third time he had it. Let's hope the message sticks.

We come from the fire, living in the fire

Go back to the fire, turn the world around
We come from the fire, living in the fire
   We come from the fire
Go back to the fire, turn the world around
   Go back to the fire, turn the world around

We come from the water, living in the water...
We come from the mountain, living on the mountain...

Oh, oh so is life
Ah, ha so is life
Oh, oh so is life
Ah, ha so is life

{Refrain}
Do you know who I am
Do I know who you are
See we one another clearly
Do we know who we are
Oh, oh so is life
Abatiwaha, so is life
Oh, oh so is life
Abatiwaha, so is life

Water make the river, river wash the mountain
Fire make the sunlight, turn the world around

Heart is of the river, body is the mountain
Spirit is the sunlight, turn the world around

We are of the spirit, truly of the spirit
Only can the spirit turn the world around

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Some  grown folks need a reminder of this especially in this day and age. Longing for

the days when life was this simple, AH HA so is life.

Sometimes we all need a reminder

2011-10-27T13:57:00.001-04:00

BLACK Pride No more.

2011-10-26T13:31:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I logged into twitter and was created by the trending topic du jour "Only Black People say" *sigh* Usually I am free of the ridiculousness of trending topics because I don't use the web, but one of my friends (*side eye Dany*) decided to get into this one.

I decided to click the hashtag to see if even one person would take it and flip it to offer a little glimpse of pride. The answer ....NO! After two pages I saw the same ignorance repeated, RT over and over again.

I don't know what I thought would actually come out of clicking on the link, I guess I'm guilty of hoping that one day we'll get it together as a people and stop pushing Mr. Charlie out of the way so we could just lay down under the bus. In true form I went off in the Jaded Nyer's gchat. My biggest problem with these TTs is that despite the claims of there being a "Black and White Twitter" there is really only ONE an open forum where we need to be careful of the images we portray about ourselves. It's hard for me to understand why we need to join in on the bullying of ourselves, if you just need to feel like the outcast in the playground turn on the TV, read the blogs, google what Black people say. Nothing but bulls eyes pointed at your Black skin, your Black hair, your Blackness. Some may think I am taking this way too seriously because trending topics are just about the fun but this are only adding to the already damaged view of us. It saddens me.

I won't go on because every it's only serving to make me angrier. So I challenge you to leave a POSITIVE response to "Only Black People say" in the comment section. I'll start you off with some things I've said:

Only Black People Say the Blacker the berry the sweeter the juice

Only Black People say Be Black, Shine and aim high. (one of my favorite quotes)

Only Black people say.... now it's your turn

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It looks like I might be off these social networks more often. After the debate on using the N word to describe yourself I had yesterday I'm pretty worn out.

Halloween

2011-10-25T22:17:00.000-04:00

For the last two years I've had to deal with the headache of dressing CJ up for Halloween. It's the most annoying process EVER, and I find myself hoping that he will become all revolutionary and refuse to participate. But that hasn't happened because kids love candy!

This year we got a head start on the costume war but of course the stores didn't have what he wanted. I mean really how hard is it to have a Lion-o costume for kids! The show is back on and from what I gather pretty popular, so what gives? I mean is there any sort of foreshadowing done with these companies, JEEZ! After an exhaustive search he decided on a ninja and though I was happy to be done I couldn't shake the feeling that Halloween is not that innocent day you get candy anymore. While walking up and down aisles with CJ I realized that all the costumes for grown women (and teenagers) started with Sexy. Sexy firefighters, sexy nurses, sexy armed forces, I even saw a sexy M&M costume! Really? You need a costume based off a peanut stuffed candy to be sexy? There is clearly something VERY wrong with this.

The world these kids live in is already so oversexed. From TV to music our kids are getting bombarded with these images and regardless of how tough we think they are, there are negative effects. The recent issue with the 14 year old "servicing" her ex on tape is the perfect example. Now maybe she didn't dress up for Halloween but she has obviously been exposed to too much and not enough emphasis has been put on her self worth. And why are grown women so in need of attention that they can't dress up like a REAL doctor instead they dress up like a Sexy one, which consists of fishnets and a stethoscope? It's all very disheartening.

Maybe it shouldn't be such a big deal because Halloween is about dressing up and having fun but what are we teaching our girls if we allow dress up that leaves them open to worst our society has to offer?

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These are the days I thank my lucky stars I have a boy. Because if we had a girl, the poor child would be covered from head to toe just so her dad would let her out the house.

Don't Rush into the card.

2011-10-20T05:00:00.016-04:00

In the last few weeks I've been hearing a lot about people looking into The Rush card and I've found myself wondering why? After asking a few people and looking at the rush card (again) I'm even more confused.

The top three answers to why they considered the Rush card were:
* no fees or credit check
* need of a credit card for emergencies
* to build credit
Hmmm... The reasons for wanting a card are legitimate but you won't achieve any of these goals by using that card. Let's go through each, shall we.

No fees :
There are actually a ton of fees associated with this card, ones that you may not receive from a regular debit card from your bank. See below:

For a pre-paid card there sure seems be this many fees associated? I'm not unrealistic, there will be fees associated with any card because that's how the banking industry works but I find these a tad excessive. At first glance if you have a rush card you will incur approximately $65/monthly in fees (including the so called optional services, like bill pay)...hmm that doesn't sound like a really good deal to me. I use two accounts (big bank and small) from both I am able to pay my bills for free and make as many inquiries on my balance without fees. And in this day and age if you can't pay bills from your bank for free most companies allow you to do that on their sites. To be fair I decided to put in my criteria for a card, to see what recommendations they had

Guess what? The fees associated with these cards are STILL higher than what I would pay my bank. The Rush theory seems to be that they are better because you will never spend more therefore never incurring overdraft fees, because if you don't have it you can't spend it. That only teaches one aspect of being fiscally responsible.

No credit check

That may be a selling point for some because we've all had our moments of carelessness with plastic, I know I certainly did. But if a card doesn't check your credit, how exactly will they report back to bureaus about building a credit file. We'll get back to this. Strike one.

Needing a credit card for emergencies:

I know that my credit card has been a savior in many instance but I know that the key to being responsible was spending and paying back immediately. BUT a rush card is not, I repeat NOT a credit card. It is a Pre-paid card, so if the emergency arrives and you don't have the cash to cover it, well then it seems to me your kind of out of luck. There may be some people that actually have money on their Rush cards and only use it for emergencies only but it seems silly to me to have to constantly put money on a card when it could be gaining interest somewhere else. My biggest fear here is that people will/are depositing their pay checks into this account, not using it as an emergency funds. Therefore not using it for an emergency but for everything. The site promotes this in several places, depositing your entire paycheck, tax return etc and it's a bad idea. Strike two.

Building Credit: This Pre-paid card doesn't report back to the credit bureaus. I searched the site for some time and couldn't find that anywhere. With that said, having that card seems like you're shooting yourself in the foot by wasting time with this card. Credit essentially is a loan that you need to pay back. The company that originally made the loan then reports back to the bureaus on how responsible or irresponsible you are with their money. Responsible = good credit score limit raised, irresponsible = low score and fees and more fees, bad reports sent to the credit bureau killing your future forever more (not really but you get the drift). Strike three.

So what are my suggestions since I'm giving the side eye to the rush card? Easy don't get that stupid card.

Deposit your pay checks into a bank or credit union. Even with the terrorist movements by big banks lately, there are still tons of options. Do the research and make that change. The comparison on the Rush site (see below) should not scare you into believing that there are no banks out there that can't beat these ~~made up~~ fees.

A friend RReimund recommended USAA, and after looking into them I think they are a pretty good option. They offer a few perks but if you're uncomfortable with not being able to physically visit their banks then those of us in NY might want to keep looking. (According to their site they have easy deposit locations so that will help with needing to deposit checks). But again you're banking needs can only be met if you do the research.

For those of you out there who still feel like they need plastic, and your bank is not completely power tripping * side eye Bank of America* see what secured cards they offer,. There are a handful of banks that will allow you to decide what your balance is (usually from $300 up). This option is actually closer to a credit card and will help you build a steady credit profile. After one year some banks review your credit worthiness and will offer you an actual credit card and return your initial deposit.

There are people that exist without any credit at all and that's fantastic(well until you go to get a mortgage or something) but there are a whole lot more people that dig themselves a grave of bad credit due to bad decisions. The Rush card is just that a bad decision.

Another good read about The Rush Card: Sunday Brunch Thanks FunkDigitial

Hey Young World.

2011-10-11T12:42:00.004-04:00

I don't usually post twice in one day but this was one of the most disturbing things I've seen in a long time. In a city where the police have been known to shoot first, ask questions later I would never expect to see this. I can't blame this on teen angst or the growing frustration of living check to check in a city that continues to get increasingly expensive, this just seems like lack of home training.

Is this where our girls are headed? Jail for stupidity. I can't even express how sad this video made me, all I could think was I don't want my son around kids like this. Here is the video, feel free to post your thoughts in the comments:

"Lucky ones get a chance at a normal life"-- Very Young Girls

2011-10-11T05:45:00.002-04:00

A few months ago I watched the documentary "Very Young Girls", to say that I was devastated by the time it was ended would be the understatement of the year. "Very Young Girls" follows several thirteen and fourteen year old as they battle their way out of the sex trade industry... YES I said 13 and 14 year olds.

In deeply moving interviews the girls tell stories of being tricked, traded and forced into sex slavery by pimps and we watch as they struggle to get away from "The life" as they call it. Though all of the girls are in different places of their transition there is one constant, these little girls are so psychologically scared that they believe they love these pimps and sadly don't believe they deserve happiness. Even through the occasional jokes and laughter it's all still there. Thankfully Rachel Lloyd and her amazing staff are there to guide them.

Throughout the movie I cried and cried because I am baffled at how we've gotten to this place as a people. Little girls are not to be raped, prostituted and harmed, they are to be protected. Have we just shifted to this one of the countries American's love to bash, oh the women there have no rights...well guess what American women and girls are being treated as poorly as the women overseas. Sure we don't have to wear burkas but in a society where police officers can't look past their duties and see little girls are not out there by choice but because of fear and need to be protected where does that leave us? Lost.

Obviously moved by this film I wanted to help and donated money to the cause. But I am wondering what more can I do. I joined the GEM council of daughters but still it never seems enough, I want to actually be hands on and offer the guidance I was so lucky to get from my mom. I know it's a delicate situation and they can't let everyone in so I'll wait and see when they allow for mentors again. In the meantime I wanted to ask you to support their cause by

1.Watching the Movie: Very Young Girls and the campaign video Hotel Room
2.Donating to their latest fundraiser: GEM 30 Day Matching Gift
3. Remember these girls are not here by choice, don''t judge them. Help them.

* I am so blessed to have been in a home where my mother was an overly active part of my life.* Thank you V, for recommending the movie.

Picture Post: NYC Randomness

2011-10-05T05:30:00.002-04:00

As I was walking down the block I ran across a parade of famous advertising characters, how could I not risk being late and snap a few pics.

The pictures below is exactly what I mean about this being the GREATEST and most random city in the world.

Vlasick pickle, test dummy, Mr. Peanut, French's Mustard

The Michelin man, Tony the Tiger, and the Aol guy.

Things like this make me remember why I love my city.

She is a dancehall queen for life.

2011-09-30T11:08:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I was in the mood to relive my dancehall queen days and Spotify was there to help. I sat in the office singing and chair wining to my favorites from Buju Banton and terror fabulous and thought see how great dancehall use to be. Then Red dragon came on and I was over the top excited because I could see the smoke filled party, canei bottles and young me dancing and laughing. It was like a quantum leap back to the 90s, this was my jam! And right as I started singing my Adult self screamed ," WTF are you singing, are you listening?" so I stopped and did just that and.....Oh my word!

How in the hell do I have teeth because surely if my mom heard me singing "If your crotches never fail you yet, I want you pop your vagina." she would have slapped the taste and teeth out of my mouth. I remember being about 15 singing a song called "kill the bitch " my mom rushed into the living room screaming so how did she miss this one? Very easy she never heard it. That got me thinking about CJ and how I always say he better not do blah blah blah in my house. It's just empty talk I guess because he won't do it in my house, he'll be out with friends and I'll be none the wiser just like my mom. On some levels I'm not okay with this, but I'm a realist and know that's just the way it works. I guess if this trash that passes for music now didn't gives me a headache after two seconds I could monitor more but it does. I will just have to make it clear that these are song and if he ever speaks to a girl in that manner I will end his life.....IMMEDIATELY! *what, too much?*

Anyway it's Friday, so slackness is in order. Here are some of my favorite inappropriate dancehall songs from my youth. So cock up your batty and ride and enjoy the flashback. #ahthegoodtimes

*SM why was I singing this song*

This is the song that inspired this post.

oh so yeah I was really jamming talking about Bum flick pon mi dick. LOL I still love this song though.

I'm going to leave it there, the amount of slackness is too much for one post.

From the mouth of babes

2011-09-28T10:13:00.001-04:00

This morning my friend Fawzilla sent me a great video and I thought I'd share it with you. This girl is awesome, Sure it's scripted and she probably doesn't know what half of what she is saying means BUT these are questions some of you ADULTS are too scared to ask.

My favorites:

Do you need this to wipe your hands, you've got blood on them.
Wanna go fight the power with me later?

LOL! I mean and the faces on these white men... PRICELESS.

Beres Hammond makes everything better

2011-09-13T21:17:00.001-04:00

I've posted this song before when I was stressed but today when I heard it I REALLY HEARD IT! Every lyric and so I decided to post again. This song says it all.

It's either you're in or out

gotta know what you're all about

Be bold and strong

Tell yourself you're not doing wrong

Once you're in you've got to take it

Make your mind up son and face it

Because Warriors don't cry

I know lots of folks will hate you

and not because they want to

but sometimes they don't even know why.

So don't watch the crowd

Their duty is to be loud

Believe in what you're doing

and feel proud

Cause when you fall along the way

People will have lots to say

They don't even care if you make it through the day

either you're in or out

gotta know what you're all about

Be bold and strong

Tell yourself you're not doing wrong

There is no true friend when you're hungry

Not if he is hungry too

At time you can't rely

Because the same brother

Will send you with the offer

Yes feels good and set him right

So don't watch the crowd

Their duty is to be loud

Believe in what you're doing

and feel proud.

Cause when you fall along the way

People will have lots to say

They don't really care if you make it through the day

either you're in or out

gotta know what you're all about

Be bold and strong

Tell yourself you're not doing wrong (2xs)

Once you're in be prepared to take it

Make up son and face it cause

Warriors don't cry.

I know lots of folks will hate you

and not because they want to

but sometimes they don't even know why.

So don't watch the crowd

Their duty is to be loud

Believe in what you're doing

and feel proud

Cause when you fall along the way

People will have lots to say

They don't even care if you make it through the day

The Great Weight loss debate.

2011-09-13T10:59:00.003-04:00

This morning after my daily routine of Yoga, shower and morning Joe (the show not coffee) I caught a glimpse of weight watchers Jennifer hudson commercial. I heard via twitter that she dropped to a size zero but I had not seen her. I don't care one way or another about J.HUD and her ever shrinking waist, but I do think the message that is being sent out is dangerous.
When her campaign launched I thought this is a good thing because she was a curvy girl, like many mothers, aunties that littleblack girls look at everyday. Her message of healthy curves would not only get our girls thinking about weight maintenance but their parents too, all of which is a win.But somewhere along the way that message turned into what we've always heard, Skinny is the way you make it in this world.

*Before I go on I am fully aware that there are some that mask their unhealthy weight and size with saying they are curvy I'm not speaking of them and if your intentions are to please move on to another blog.*

I've never struggled with my weight and I believe that come from my mother blessing me with the knowledge that people come in all sizes, and mines just happened to be all of 90lbs. I was always active and even as I got older I just liked working out. I learned to love the rush of endorphins way before I knew how to spell it, and not much has changed. However growing up my family was full of women with behinds, big breast, hips and they were healthy, and I was the string bean. So I guess it never occurred to me that any of this wasn't the norm. In my world Black women were built that way and we were okay with it.

It wasn't until 1992 that I started paying attention to weight loss/maintenance issues because I was now surrounded by more than just people that looked like me. I weighed in at an entire 92lbs straight though college, and people paid attention to it. Sophomore year one of my best friends mom even suggested that I didn't eat because she could see the bones in my face, all I knew of eating disorders was that there were lots of ABC specials about them, none of which featured Black girls. Freshman year in "my Women's bodies, women wisdom" class we read an article that suggested that African American women battled less with eating disorders and weight issues. When asked if I thought that was true I had to agree because I didn't know any Black women that had suffered from it, we just seemed to more comfortable and realized that we weren't all going to be a size zero.

Looking back I'm sure that article was a little off , but it does seem that little girls do battle with these things more often now. Some of the battle stems from the pressure society puts on everyone to be rail thin (which is unrealistic) and this need to be the next Rihanna or ( insert any other pop star). I look back at who I idolized as a child and the goal to be like them was more tangible. I would have been a kick ass version of Big Lez or Assata Shakur Lol. But more importantly I had my mom, grandmother and aunts to look up to and they were better than any TV personality ever could be.

I will say that I do love what Beyonce did to promote healthier living, it wasn't about weight loss at all but more about getting up and moving which combined with healthy eating leads to healthy living.

So what do we do to the rest of us do to help little girls with self image? I know that Tyra has a camp that focuses on just that but what do the rest of us do. I have conversations with my nieces as do their moms and you hope that it rubs off onto the people they are in contact with but hoping is just not enough.

This is my favorite quote on weight loss:
When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap. You worked hard and you deserve the compliment! ~Jillian Michaels

How could I ever forget

2011-09-12T05:01:00.006-04:00

When I started this post I had all intentions of telling my 9/11 story but as I wrote and revised I decided maybe it was best that I don't. I've been blogging for 4 years and not once have I shared my story, I've gone so far as to shut down all forms of social networking, TV and radio because sometimes the stories shared FORCE me to relive it all and honestly I just don't want to.

I was there, I stood in front of those towers, I saw it live and in person and because of that I WILL never forget! My life changed that day, in all the despair surrounding me I bonded with people I loved, I vowed never to leave home angry again and I made new and lasting friendships, this is what I choose to remember about that day. Sharing the parts that catapult me into deep sadness don't seem necessary. I'm not suggesting by any means that others don't share their story because we all heal differently and it's your story to share but my story will forever be just that, my story. I might one day share it with C.J MAYBE but I think that's really as far as it will ever go. I really hope that by the time he's at the age where he will want to ask questions about what happen on September 11th the world will have changed.

I listen to this song every year since that day, it reminds me to appreciate the men and women that lost their lives and gave their lives to help others.

Kindergarten here we come!

2011-09-08T12:43:00.000-04:00

Count my numbers 1,2,3

I can even write my name with ease

Aren't you very proud of me.

Kindergarten here we come (here we come)

So long Pre-K it's been fun.

Kindergarten here we come! ~ C.J

This morning CJ started his journey to "Big Boys School" and he could not have been happier. He woke up early, got dressed twice (he didn't want to wear his blazer), ate breakfast and called his grandma to sing the wheels on the bus. She seemed very happy about that. As we waited for the bus (hence the song) in the rain I realized (AGAIN) that my little boy is growing up and that I don't much care for it. He jumped on that bus like he has been riding alone for years. I was shocked, just a peace sign and he was out. LOL

He's FIVE and before I know it, he will be Six then SIXTEEN *faints* and all I can do is sit back and enjoy the ride. None of this makes any sense because you know from birth that your kids will get older, I knew at 2 he's be taller than me, that he'd date all that stuff but as the bus pulled away that shit hit home.

He's fiercely independent and I wouldn't want him to be like other kids crying and not wanting to let go but sometimes I do. #Dontjudgeme. Man this mothering this is making me soft, let me log off and get some work done so that when his bus pulls up I can have his snack ready.

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Oh I'd like to say I didn't cry until one of the nuns said "Just like when you bring your child to be baptized and they are called by their names we will call them by name as you bring them forward" TEARS MAN! Not as many as my sister but definitely TEARS SON!

Stop the Violence

2011-09-06T22:57:00.000-04:00

*Sigh*
*I wanted to write a post talking about what a great time I had at the Labor Day Parade in my beloved Brooklyn.
* I wanted to tell you all about the amazing colors and all the happiness that surrounded us.
* I wanted to share with you about the culture, the music, and brag about all the delicious food we had.
*I wanted to say that it was the best time I've had on that street in a long time

And even though all of this is True (I had a great time with @TheJadedNYer, her daughter N, @WriteinBK and CJ) something else weighs heavy on my heart. THE VIOLENCE! This weekend 43 people were killed in a 48hr period, though not all in Brooklyn a LARGE number of them were. A police officer was shot after the parade, as were two men after the parade was over. I don't like to attach all the violence to the parade (several of the shooting were no where near the parade route) but the media does and so it becomes the Labor day parade shootings. And without fail SOMETHING happens every year!
I don't understand it! Why is a day that's suppose to be fun, and all about love and unity ALWAYS ends in violence?

As I read the different accounts of what happened this weekend I felt sick to my stomach. And then I read the comments (which everyone knows I don't do) and that only made it worse. Why don't these kids understand that their actions send us back hundreds of years? Why are the kids today so ready to end their lives and others over a 5 second argument? It breaks my heart. It just seems like no one believes in walking away or just shooting the fair one and moving on! So desensitized by music and movies that glorifies a fast life, with fast endings.

Those of us over 30 remember the Stop the Violence movement and why it was so necessary. Is it possible that we've just crossed back into that time where life, Black life is just that worthless. I don't know how we go about solving this problem again and giving these kids some sense of self worth, but what I do I know is if this keeps up the only place you will be able to hear Soca will be in your homes. The Parade and J'ouvert will be no more. Just another loss to Black culture.

It's Labor Day Weekend

2011-09-02T08:26:00.001-04:00

Labor day was created by the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. We all get a rest and a day off. Most Americans will be out in their yards BBQing, drinking and celebrating their official day off, but not the people of Brooklyn!

Labor day in the BEST city looks like this:

*Pictures are property of the WIADCA, visit their site for information*

And oh don't get me started on all the food (all my favorites that I won't be able to have)! This weekend will be nothing but fun. I haven't been to the parade in a few years now because after doing it EVERY summer since I was 16 I needed a break. But I will be meeting up with a few people this year to jump and wave! Come out and see me.

*I bet The Jaded NYer doesn't think I can move like Jagger to Soca, she'd be wrong though*

Oh the places you'll go!

2011-09-01T10:10:00.003-04:00

This post is dedicated to my best friend Dee, she's having one of those big girl moments that deserve yeahs and hoorays and what better way to celebrate than with Dr. Seuss. I read this book to CJ at least twice a week and he loves it. I also find that it helps me when I'm not my brainiest or sure footed!

I was going to make side comments but I'll save that for another day! ENJOY! .

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

by Dr. Seuss

Congratulations! Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places! You're off and away!
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course, you'll head straight out of town.
It's opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do
to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along. You'll start happening too.
OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up! You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't Because, sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on. You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then, that you'll be in a Slump.
And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.
I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

Things I've learned: The hurricane edition.

2011-08-29T20:14:00.001-04:00

The tree in my backyard.

When I first started writing this blog on Sunday morning I was going to take a very light hearted look at NY hurricane survival. Stuff like

*hurricane preparedness means going out to buy the latest in rain gear at high end boutiques.
* stocking up on wine, beer and of course champagne because what else would you celebrate with post storm.
* healthy food? What's that please pass the donuts.ver

And then I took a visit my FB timeline after posting a REAL picture of what happens in a hurricane, after watching rescue teams save people in little boats, and wanted to scream. People were actually saying things like, oh this storm was weak, what happened to all the damage and my favorite they got what they wanted, "this was just a plot to make people spend money, boost the stock market and get what they want" o_O

Are you freaking kidding me people? I made it known in my status that I would voice my opinion here because I would have been on FB all night otherwise. When this blog goes live it will be the 6th anniversary of Katrina and I am sitting looking out the window of my house at nothing but darkness. Trees uprooted, some completely fallen down and there is no power within 5 block north, south and east of me. So NO I'm not floating on a car, or scavenging for food, or fighting to survive but that doesn't make the effects any less real. It seems to me some of you wanted to be put to the worst just to have a gat damn story, or maybe you needed a day off from work but complaining that we were spared death and devastation is RI-FUCKING-DICULOUS!

I may not have power but all I lost were creature comforts like my TV. And you know what I can think of worse thing than missing VMAs, or True Blood. My family is safe, my house is still standing and I'm blessed to see another day. Some of you might want to remember that, get down on your knees and Thank whatever God, Goddess, Pope or just Good old Mother Nature and thank them for that. And while you're at it send prayers up for the people that DID lose their lives, homes and missed more than Beyonce announcing that she's pregnant.

Now for the last comment, the conspiracy theory is dumb. It shows just how uneducated and foolish people can be. If you wanted to survive the hurricane without provisions then go on and do that. No one forced you into the store, I didn't go the store and buy 40 loaves of bread, and boxes of cereal I went and replaced the things I needed. Did I believe the weatherman when he said the storm was going to be intense and devastating. Hell yeah I did. But I knew it wasn't the end of the world (as we know it, you know you have to say it that way. Thanks REM), I just knew I needed to be prepared because I have a child and he's my first priority. Never did it cross my mind that maybe The Man was trying to keep me down with a NATURAL fucking disaster. If you believed that this hurricane was some ploy to get the Dow up I need you to log off life, not just Facebook, LIFE. Pick up a damn book and read about how the world really works. THE END.

*drops mic*

What you were waiting for a baby bump rub? Not gonna happen B!

You want real devastation look at this pic I copied from a friend's facebook page in NJ!

THIS IS A HOSPITAL! Still complaining?

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

2011-08-11T12:26:00.001-04:00

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

This morning was probably the WORST ever. Any and everything that could have gone wrong did and it started last night. Which if you know me means I didn't sleep and when I did drift off I had some crazy nightmare. UGH
All that said I've made myself a promise to remain in my zen like state even when I want to crumble into tears and just get back into bed.

So sticking with my Thursday theme of self-assessment and positivity, I thought I'd share a few songs from my "Get it together playlist". YES I know I owe you all the final Chakra and I will write about it next week I PROMISE! Now Enjoy the music.

Jill Scott: Golden

Kirk Franklin Hide Me:

India Arie, Come back to the middle

I feel better just posting these.

OH SNAP I forgot to post a Beres song, well here you go.

The Help.

2011-08-10T11:24:00.002-04:00

My older sister heads a minority program at a prestigious school.

I have had a pretty amazing Wall Street career

My younger sister is the Dean at a Charter school.

My mom has worked for the NYC BOE for many years.

All of our achievements started when my Nana left South Carolina and ventured North. Back then the only jobs for colored women were domestics and so this proud woman took her first and only domestic job. Long story short after a day she told them to kiss her ass and never looked back. Some may see that as a funny story but to us its our history. A history steeped in strength and pride. The same strength that radiates through every word in The Help.

After my homie Smarty went off on twitter I knew I had to finish this post and have my say. In the past few months leading up to the movie release of "the Help" several pieces have surfaced condemning it. Strangely most of the authors had not read the book, nor pre-screened the movie their venom strictly directed at the subject matter. "Black women playing Mammies and maids in this day and age is a disgrace", I read somewhere and was Colored me confused. Anyone that has read the book can tell you that being a maid was just their jobs, no different than if these women had high power careers where they were discriminated against. These characters were much more than that. But I was confused because I don't get how one judges something they now NOTHING about? Slapping a "Pro-black, I don't need any white people telling me" sticker on things just to make a point. A point that I find to be ridiculous and only serves to makes things worse. This book /movie is meant to uplift and remind us of the struggles that our people went through so we could write, work non-domestic jobs, hell so we could do something as simple as live where we want and ride the bus. Too many of us want to believe that civil rights was won by college degree having men and women only, because everything else is too shameful. But that is false. Everyday Joe and Joans really made the movement, sacrificing their lives, just like the maids in this book. They risked everything to tell the world WE ARE PEOPLE and you will treat us as such. And please miss me with the we didn't do it with the help of white people because now you're fooling yourself.

I admit I don't want to see the movie because I know it will ruin the feeling I had while reading the book, Hollyweird has a way of doing that. But My Nana hasn't given me much of a choice so I'll be seeing it next week, I'd hate to get on her bad side. :)

*To quote the Great Smarty Smarty (sing like Patti Patti) "regardless of what we do, unless we own the company, we are still in a position of servitude and we are still subordinate."*

and your Beres song for the day!

not a damn thing to do with this post but it's BERES Week!

Beres Hammond is the truth

2011-08-05T10:28:00.002-04:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again Beres Hammond is one of my all time favorite Reggae singer. When Beres sings I will shake the big girl shoes and dance all night long. His songs are timeless and have the power to uplift or make you swoon. I just love me some Beres and I'll be seeing him with some awesome gals in a few days and I CANT WAIT!

So I've decided that no matter what I write about for the next few days I'll post a Beres video for your listening pleasure. And if anyone has a problem with it I'll have a coconut to pick with you. So here we go!

I feel good:

Come back home:

Beres Mix:

Pull Up featuring Buju Banton (*wipes tears WHYYY BUJU WHY????)
Standing in my way
Double Trouble (this is my sisters favorite song)
Show it off
Can't Stop a Man
Groovy Little Thing
Not Official Yet
Sweet Lies

Ajna

2011-08-04T11:40:00.001-04:00

"Ajna" Intuition

Located on the forehead between the eyes, is the Third Eye Chakra. It is connected to our intuition, imagination, and our wisdom. Our third eye allows us to focus on the big picture. The emotion for the 6th chakra is "knowing", an intuitive type of knowing. When this chakra is dominant, one may have clairvoyant abilities...being able to see things that others can't. When the energy in the 6th chakra is excessive, it can cause headaches, hallucinations, nightmares and difficulty in concentrating.But when the energy is deficient, there may be eye problems, poor memory, inability to visualize

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As the description above says Ajna deals with intuition, or the third eye we've all called it. In my 36 years I can't say that I've always relied on my third eye, I've made some incredible mistakes in my life but I believe that making the mistakes and growing from them served to strengthen my third eye. Trusting myself and the universe even in the amounts I do now was a hard thing but trusting, has helped me stay focused on my Yoga practice, my family and career. It's a wonderful feeling. I've also been able to escape the pitfalls of drama that so many find themselves. I guess along this journey I've come to realize though I am connected to all beings in this world they don't have to consume me. That goes especially for the people closest to me. *that's growth right there, TRUST*

There is no real story for this chakra because I'm still a work in progress but what I learned on this journey has been monumental.My Yogi (oh y'all thought I was doing this on my own, NOPE) has assured me that I will clear this Chakra as I've done with the others. She also said it is common for people to stall at the 5th chakra because the last two chakras deal with your cosmic being. Essentially letting go of worldly attachments and releasing yourself to the universe. That is some SCARY shit man! But I'm up for the challenge, I might finally get to a place where I can narrow my third eye and surrender to the universe allowing it to guide me without earthly interference.

Take it Personal: Twitter Beef and why you're a fool for caring.

2011-08-03T05:00:00.002-04:00

On Monday several people on my TL were tweeting things I found annoying and couldn't get behind. One kept tweeting about what Ni99as do( I don't use that word, bye), another about her fantasy life, and the last one well let's just say I've been annoyed by him for some time. I could have muted them but that would mean I was keeping them around for the sake of numbers and well I'm not about that life.

I thought nothing of it until my homies told me that one of them called me a bitch and said I unfollowed because what she said must have hit close to home. I almost choked from laughing so hard. is this for real? Hit close to home? LORRD these characters on twitter. Oh the giggle I got.

If you've read this blog or know me in real life you know I don't do beef, especially not the internet kind. I simply do not care that much nor do I have time to indulge in such foolishness. I've met tons of people through blogging and twitter and many of them have become like family BUT that shit doesn't apply to everyone. Sure we might have shared a laugh but that doesn't mean we're all BFF, you should take the LOSS on the followers and move on. ITS JUST TWITTER (google+, EVEN FB)for the love of God.

And honestly it might be different if we'd actually known each other but to quote Jay Z (again) "(s)he's not real to me which means he doesn't exist so poof, vamoose son of a bitch.

*Look I'm not interested in having a coconut between me and people I know, much less people with imaginary lives* *skips away*

Damn 'Tasia

2011-08-02T11:16:00.000-04:00

That was my first reaction when I learned that Fantasia announced she was pregnant. I prayed she had some common sense and it wasn't for that boy she tried to off herself over. *Prayed in vein* The gossip blogs and twitter were a blaze with jokes but all I felt was sadness. Sadness that desperation and probable depression seem to still be governing her life.

This post isn't about the baby, the infidelity or suicide attempt, but about the mind set of our young (and not so young) women today. It seems to me that in an effort not to be alone some women are accepting just any old advances. I've heard women defend their actions by saying you can't help who you fall in love with, which might be true (~~uhm I don't buy that but if it makes y'all feel better than okay~~) but you do control how that love grows. If you're 6months in and you find out not only is the man married but has several children, or that his so called separation is not a legal one and has been going on for 2 years you can end the relationship, take the L and move on. But lately no one does that they'd rather play second class gambling on the hopes of one day m #1 and that is a sad place to be.

From Fantasia and Alicia Keys to the random girl that knowingly creeps self esteem is at an all time low and men are taking advantage of it. I don't know how anyone gets to the place where they do not see themselves as worthy of being the one and only in their partners life before they decide to sleep with them. AND UNPROTECTED!

Someone needs to tell these women that your sanity is worth so much more than some good D, and a possible pregnancy or your health. Choosing to throw your self esteem under the bus is stupid enough, but sleeping with a man you know is unfaithful is just selfish and idiotic. Back in the day you might have caught a well deserved beatdown but now in a world where women are contracting HIV and other STDs at alarming rates I have to wonder if your head is attached.

There are people that will say oh it's upbringing and what you're parents taught you and that is partially true but after 25 you have to start taking responsibilty for your decisions and I'm sorry Fanny but this was not a smart move. You spoke to a group of fans about loving themselves enough to make smart choices, maybe you should listen to your own advice and start loving yourself more.

Brooklyn on facebook = Not for me.

2011-08-01T05:00:00.002-04:00

This week some genius created a facebook page called "Your from Brooklyn if" (yes it said YOUR not You're) and the people went wild. My friend Dee added me to the page and before I knew it I had 3,000 (not really but there were a LOT of them) emails telling me what made me a real Brooklynite. Some of them were cool, and some were just RIDICULOUS and I started to get annoyed with the stupid things people were saying. There were some great ones like:

* you know you're from Brooklyn if you always get your sandwiches from Farmer in the deli*
* you know you're from Brooklyn if someone called you a Lo-Life and you weren't offended*
*you know you're from Brooklyn if you ever had to snuff somebody"

These are things that made you remember growing up in Brooklyn, things that were uniquely yours as a Brooklynite. And just as soon as the memories started the bullshit leaked in. Stupid shit about everyone from Brooklyn living in the projects,having Rottweilers tied to doors, robbing bodegas and other BS I care not to mention. I decided to just ignore the post after that. Then came the other pages You know you're from DC and Jamaica Queens page and my head damn near exploded when I saw a friend of mine post that there was a Brooklyn vs. Queens page and people were basically fighting. WHAT IN ALL THE HELL? Fighting with people because they are from Queens? I think not.

I just happened to check in on Saturday after a really long nap and the BS continued and got more ignorant with the "your from East Harlem" page, not one post I saw in my TL had anything to do with being from East Harlem and more to do with stupid stereotypes of both Black people and Hispanics. Color me annoyed. Not because all of the pages crept up but because I can't understand how the ignorance is what you want to celebrate about your younger days growing up in the city. I would think these pages were meant to celebrate our diversity and our love of where we come from, which was why I stayed in the group. After seeing references to hair, robbing and murder on these pages I knew it was time for me to leave and block all these other groups from my stream.

I'm from Brooklyn, I love my borough but the FB page dedicated to it I love not.

Just for giggles

2011-07-29T05:00:00.001-04:00

I swear my friends are nuts, no one believes me but here is the proof!

ME: let me put alvin ailey down so I dont forget that too!

The JadedNyer: you will def cry if you miss that

ME: like a baby! even though I can watch it anytime I want. and act it out in my living room

is it me or was this years concert series just BLAH like Jagged Edge, who wants to see them

The JadedNyer: yeah, there was nothing there that excited me. Saved me a 4-hr wait in line, though LOL

ME: but we didn't get to see the dudes in the park, that's our summer thing. DAMN this depression!

This needs to be fixed so that I can get my free concert on and the rappers can get their jew-els!

The JadedNyerl: lol

ME: I blame ALL republicans and Tea party members for my lack of good free shows.

The JadedNyer: funny, I was going to blame Obama O_o

ME: NO why you always harping on the Black MAN?!

The JadedNyer: LMAO!

ME: We're all African Jaded! it ain't right

The JadedNyer: Not me; I'm european. Can't you see my fair skin, light eyes and fine hair? SAY YES!!!

ME: let me save this IM so when you're ready to come back to this side I can say OH REMEMBER THIS SUCKA

The JadedNyer: LMAO!!!

ME: I should just blog it. mmmhhmmm

* and there you have it, the nutter butters that make my world better* LOL

My newest Obsession

2011-07-22T05:02:00.004-04:00

Now that I've watched every single Criminal Minds two or more times it was time to let that obsession go *looks over shoulder at suspicious dude in hood*. All the lessons they've given me are greatly appreciated but its summer now and it's time for some fun... Enter my new obsession: FLASH MOBS!

It all started with this funny commercial:

and well you know I tweeted about it and quickly realized I'm not the only one going all crazy for a flash mob! And one of my followers sent me the link for the Toronto flash mob she was in, I was so excited and watched several you tube videos. Like this one:

aww they are so cute. Don't watch past 0:42, this guy is just a weirdo.
I saw some awful ones too, they all seemed to involve dancing to Lady Gaga in Europe.No thanks.

AND THEN THE FLASH MOBS of ALL FLASH MOBS!

So now I'm back into them and I even know where I want it to take place.. HOME DEPOT! I mean what better place, it's just wide open space where you can get to twerking it! I know if I get it together that my girl @SpicyOriginal will be there, even though she wants to do it at a Dollar Tree. I don't know about that Dollar tree always smells funny, LOL!

Anyway if you can't find me I'm off choreographing for my flash mob attack on NYC! If you're in, hit me in the comment section!

Now someone find me a camera man and some booming speakers.

Vishuddha

2011-07-21T11:52:00.000-04:00

The Fifth Chakra (Vishuddha) is the chakra that holds our personal development in both expression and in listening.Vishuddha is located in the throat, near the thyroid gland. It is the chakra of communication, expression and judgment. This Chakra, governs life lessons of self expression and speaking one’s truth, creativity (especially writing or speaking) faith, and making decisions and will power. On the flip side, issues of addiction, the need to criticize, lack of authority, and indecisiveness. Information stored in the Fifth Chakra includes self-knowledge and truth, attitudes, and the senses of hearing, taste, and smell. An imbalance in the Throat Chakra can be felt as difficulty in self expression, poor learning ability, habitual lying, fear, doubt, and uncertainty.

Interestingly enough the deity for this centre is Shri Krishna. He represents God in His aspect as the Eternal Witness. For those of you that really know me You understand why this is interesting. :)

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This was by far the easiest of all the address, because I've been comfortable with who I am and able to speak my truths for such a long time. And though some look at my honesty and ability to look at a situation, make a decision and move on with my life as me being a hard ass, it's not. It's me being comfortable enough with myself and the decisions that I make. A friend of mine was laughing when I talked to her about this post because she said really all I needed to write was "You either like me or you don't and either way that's your problem because I'm good with being me" It's simple but very true.

I can't sit here and pretend that my being comfortable with myself was just the way I was born, it took years. I think my shy nature lead to me being a better listener and in turn a better judge of character. Those two things have always been my strong suit and in turn a lot of people come to me for advice. I guess that's where the speaking part come in.

Also having a family tree full of women that stand as tall as any oak in Central Park. Which in turn made me do the same. My Nana,Aunts and Mother are dynamic ladies, with strong personalities and big mouths, LOL . Their lives and struggles so we could have better than they did, taught me to be happy with my life no matter the good or bad because as long as I stood in faith I'd be okay. That advice hasn't failed me yet.

I guess the side of being this person that always gets me in trouble is that I don't remember that everyone didn't grow up with the same foundation. I'm working on that though because in my next career I will need to be able to advise and not seem as if I'm passing judgement. I don't think I'm very judgemental now but sometimes my no nonsense attitude might seem that way.

Another interesting fact about this Chakra is that it the first to deal with both the earthly and spiritual worlds. Makes sense that being comfortable with how God made you let's you commune with the spiritual world easier. Hmm.

City Girl gone wild

2011-07-20T05:04:00.002-04:00

As most of you know I've moved from my beloved Brooklyn to the 'burbs. I knew I'd like owning my own home but I actually love being out here. Sure there are times I miss the creature comforts of Brooklyn like the bodegas, late night restaurants, Public transportation, reliable cabs but I don't think I'd trade my new digs for any of that. When we decided to buy out here the one thing I said I wanted no parts of was the nature, all these trees, grass and pollen. NO THANK YOU! I made it a point to have the ugly rose bush pulled out because it was going to need work and time I had no plans on giving it! And then it snowed, A LOT!

and well I forgot all about that plot of land under the bay window. Spring never actually sprung here and all of a sudden it was warm and our house wasn't very pleasing to the eye because it looked like a graveyard. Just dirt and nothing else. I was sad! I thought our gardener would have some ideas but well he barely spoke english and had a hard enough time doing what I asked (bad business). There was no way I was doing it. Look let's be honest if there was a contest and you had to pick two words that would never be associated with me, they'd be DIRT and GARDENING. I don't even really like flowers. So imagine the shock on my husbands face when I said I was going to give it a go. He didn't believe me but as it go closer to CJ'sbirthday I told him I was going to do it! My sister took me to a nursery and I picked out all these lovely flowers:

I'm not ashamed to say that once I picked all the flowers I got real nervous and considered leaving them right in that window! I had to really psych myself up because I had no idea how to really plant flowers. My friend LaKeisha was like what? K you, dig hole, put plant in, water, grow. It can't be that easy is all I thought. I was ready though, so I went out and tackled the grave:

YUCK!

Two hours later I managed to dig out all the roots of that blasted devil rose bush (I hate them) and started planting. and then we had this:

Yeah they are in the ground.

We had some casualties, the Dahlia's didn't make it because they needed to be in the ground by April but the rest of the little one are doing great. Saturday morning I got up planted more lovelies and added some red mulch so now it looks like this:

Still have some work to do, I want a Japanese fern and maybe some more full sun perennials.It may not seem like a big deal to some but for me its HUGE! I never thought I'd utter the words I love gardening but I do. So many reasons but the main one is because it's all mine, no one wants to help and I'm fine with that. I get to listen to music and just relax. YEAH for a new hobby! .

Closure.

2011-07-19T05:20:00.004-04:00

clo·sure (klzhr)

1. The act of closing or the state of being closed: closure of an incision.

2. Something that closes or shuts.

3.a. A bringing to an end; a conclusion: finally brought the project to closure.

b. A feeling of finality or resolution, especially after a traumatic experience.

In the last few weeks I've had discussions with friends about Closure. A word that I've heard thrown around over and over again in regards to relationships and I get it but I don't agree with it.

With each conversations I realized my friends had abrupt and hurtful ends to relationships. And they all wanted to know why. I'm not sure if its a "was it me kind" of need but its a want that I feel could only lead to only one thing, feeling worse. Its just like in "A Few Good Men" when Jack Nicholson screams "you want the truth, you can't handle the truth", knowing the truth of why a relationship didn't last won't ever turn out well. When you seek closure on hurt feelings, heartbreak whatever from someone else you're looking for that person to validate your feelings in some way.

Instead a better approach at seeking closure is to look inward. What did you learn about yourself in this relationship? When evaluating the relationship, what changes would you make so that YOU are better for the next man/woman. From the worst relationship to the storybook romance derailed, there is a lesson to be learned and if you're ever to gain a better sense of self you have to pay attention.

In a conversation with one of my friends I told her we all go through this and its that struggle that leads to a better you. Look for closure from within because in the grand scheme of life it means a hell of a lot more than from someone else.

Coming from where I'm from

2011-07-15T05:27:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner

Sometimes I feel like my only friend

Is the city I live in, is beautiful Brooklyn

Long as I live here believe I'm on fire

Cuz it's the B-the-R-the-O-the-O-KL-Y-N is the place where I stay

The B-the-R-the-O-the-O-K Best in the world and all USA --- Mos Def.

This weekend I will be in Brooklyn for Brooklyn Bodega, and so what better way to celebrate than to showcase the place that made me! No matter where I live, whether it's Long Island or Timbuktu I'll always be from the greatest city in the world.... BROOKLYN!

Picture courtesy of one of Brooklyn's Finest, Tauri!

Brooklyn fun fact: Brooklyn was the only borough that had doubts about joining NYC, and had several conditions that had to be met, if Brooklyn was to become a willing part of NYC.

Hopefully I can get good pictures of at this festival.

Anahata

2011-07-14T10:16:00.000-04:00

Located in the heart, the fourth Chakra deals with love. It is ultimately blocked by grief. It is symbolized by a lotus flower with twelve petals, twelve add up and reduced to three, three represents the relationship between Wisdom, Power and Love. A powerful way to energize this chakra is to love ourselves and others.

An Unbalanced chakra causes: Physical problems- thoracic spine, upper back and shoulder problems, asthma, heart conditions, shallow breathing, lung disease like pneumonia. Psychological and Emotional problems - difficulty with love, lack of hope, compassion,

confidence, despair, moody, envy, fear, jealousy, anger and anxiety.

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I don't want to go into too much detail on this one because I've talked about it more than once on this blog. The loss of family member is hard enough without reliving it over and over again but in an effort to cleanse my 4th Chakra, I had to sit myself down and just let go of the pain. It still creeps up now and then but letting go of the pain doesn't mean letting go of the person.

This morning as I waiting for my car to pick me up I started thinking about Bob, and I smiled because if he were here he'd be so proud of my accomplishments in the last year. He's also be giving me a lecture about taxes and all the mess that's going on in D.C. I actually laughed for the first time thinking about him. Right then the car pulled up and I walked out my house to be greeted by a man that not only favored Bob strongly, but spoke and laughed like Bob. I was in shock, he asked about CJ which means he had to have driven us to the train before and I answered quietly, trying to hold back my tears. Then he started talking about politics... I couldn't do anything but smile even with the tears in my eyes. I chatted with the driver and even sat in his car for a few minutes at the station until my train pulled in. When I got out I thanked him for the ride and as he drove away I could hear him singing a Temptation song that was playing on the radio... or maybe that was Bob. All I know is I felt a whole lot of joy as I stepped on the train to work.

I tell this story to relay that though I've felt a great loss, the energy that is love is born and can be seen in so many things (and people). My family may have lost a person but the love he had for us and we for him is all around us and will never leave. Only be reborn in the form of new love.

*this journey to a becoming a greater part of the universe is no joke*

Hes' one year older I'm one year wiser

2011-07-10T12:18:00.000-04:00

Today's the day, C.J is five years old! I can go on and on about how much I love him and how great a kid is he is because well he is. Smart, funny, witty at times. He's also a smart ass, cranky as all hell and sometimes I just want to pull my hair out and run away (and y'all know how I love my hair) but I wouldn't trade any of it, I love you C.J and wish you the happiest of HAPPY Birthday!

From this to....

to this.5yrs old

Manipura

2011-07-07T05:00:00.002-04:00

Located at the center of the body it is the place where physical energy is distributed. It is the center for unrefined emotions and personal power. It is the center that give us the sense of complete satisfaction and contentment. Our creativity is fueled by our power of will and is blocked by shame.

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So a few post back I started documenting my journey to a cleansing my Chakras, it got a little too personal for my liking and so I didn't post the others. But after having a conversation with a friend (*winks*) I thought well maybe it's a good idea to share my journey so others can be encouraged to do the same.

You can find my find how I cleared my first two chakras here and here.

This one was particularly hard for so many reasons but mainly because I don't want to look weak. I've worked hard to work through the issues I had and admitting to being ashamed of something spit in the face of all that. But alas if I'm to reach a greater plain of wisdom I have to own up to all of it. My shame deals with my father, Yes that mystery man I don't talk to, talk about and at this point in my life doesn't really exist.

Last year when I started this journey my uncle called to tell me his brother's wife passed away. I thought oh that's sad but why is he telling me I don't know this man (notice I did not call him my uncle). After the funeral my uncle revealed to me a part of me that I believed I locked deep away, the need to know more about THAT side of my family. Not necessarily about my dad because I've dealt with my feelings about him as a person but the tons of cousins I now know I have. I spoke with my uncle for 2hrs and my mind was blown away by how awesome my cousins are (not as awesome as my sisters and I but yeah you know!). I guess in my mind because they were Davenports and not US so they were probably just as trifling as their parents and my father, but that's not the case at all.

So though I have moved on and forgiven my father and I know there is no way for me to change the past, I can look towards the future and be happy. Happy knowing there is some good attached to our family name and it is reflected in the youth. As for the message my uncle came back with from my father, *shrugs*All the niceness is long overdue it's his burden to bear and though forgiven...well you know the rest. Here's to connecting with some of my relatives this summer, hopefully we can make this happen.

Say you will sing your song.... FOREVER MORE.

2011-06-24T03:30:00.001-04:00

It's 3:00 am and my mind is racing because I can't remember the exact time I found out.

I remember it was in the morning, I was on my way to work.
I remember that my mom called and I told her I'd call her right back because I thought she was calling to yell at me for something.
I remember not being able to get anyone on the phone once I got off the train.
I remember finally getting a hold of my mom.
I remember her saying it's okay, but it wasn't. She was in tears.
I was in shock
I remember floating to work, I think its called an out of body experience.
I remember collapsing on the corner of 46th and sending an email. "If anyone is looking for me I'm downstairs in the lobby."
I remember the tears and then the hugs. People telling me to go home.
I remember being at home, in the bed mid-day and not being able to stop the flood.
I remember all of these details but I can't remember the exact time I found out.

Maybe that doesn't matter, maybe it's just a small detail left in the wind.
I remember the hurt, the pain, the confusion, the questioning, the silence.
It's all very raw, will this feeling ever die? Probably not, but it will get better that's what they say. Year by year I'll remember less but I'll never forget.

I know you're watching over us, you always have, We love and Miss you Dearly Bob!

*this song always makes me think of him*

Strength, Courage and Wisdom.

2011-06-21T05:00:00.001-04:00

Inside my head there lives a dream that I want to see in the sun

Behind my eyes there lives a me that I've been hiding for much too long

'Cause I've been, too afraid to let it show

'Cause I'm scared of the judgment that may follow

Always putting off my living for tomorrow

It's time to step out on faith, I've gotta show my face

It's been elusive for so long, but freedom is mine today

I've gotta step out on faith, It's time to show my face

Procrastination had me down but look what I have found, I found - India Arie

The last few weeks have left me stressed, doubtful and all in all pretty down. It could be hormones, it could be my heart, it could be a host of things but all I know is that this time for change has been knocking me around long enough. I have to get to rid of this empty feeling that has been hanging over my spirit. It's really hard to get back to my zen self without getting rid of it.

1st HOME: Sure everything is in A place but it's not all in it's RIGHT place. I don't work well in disorganized environments and right now that's where I feel like I am. Books not on book shelves, power cords everywhere, clothes still not put away. I need to fix this ASAP. I had a dream the other day that I left my home because the clutter was too much to take. When I woke up I started cleaning, on hands and knees scrubbing floors kind of cleaning. I felt better once it was done. Now to organize this damn mail.

2nd: Family: Since we've been out here on Long Island I don't see my mom and grandma as much as I want to. Life is busy and I know they understand it but that's really just an excuse because I can make the time. AND I WILL make the time. This next week is going to be hard for our family, the anniversary of the death that shook us to the core. I almost feel as though I'm still really raw from that and haven't honestly dealt with all the feelings from that, and the only way I can is to be with my family.

3rd: My career and the relationships built there Good and bad. I'm ready to take a leap of faith with my career and I've worked out the plan that is the necessary follow up. I'm glad my support system is as big as it is because I will be resting on them. The Good relationships I've built are amazing and I love them dearly but in the last week I've realized that two people I thought were on the good side aren't. So my distancing myself from them begins today. If there is one thing I can say, I've TRIED and that's really all I can do.

LASTLY, I have to take back the feeling of freedom I had when I lived in Brooklyn, I went and came as I pleased and sometimes out here I feel trapped. That stops today for me and for CJ. I'm not placing a timeline on this one, but it will be done. I am also not revealing all the details because well I get tired of people chiming in on every aspect of my life. I know what I need to do, and no matter how many times someone else tells me Oh you need to hurry up and do ABC, it only annoys and upsets me. And I can't be all zen with anger in my life.

That's it. Time to remove the procrastination and grab back my freedom.

Slow dancing in a burning room

2011-06-20T05:00:00.004-04:00

In the last few weeks I've been chatting with a friend about her relationship with a guy she knows she probably has no business dealing and right now they are on the verge of a really bad breakup. No one has cheated, no one has been abusive, when most people meet them they think "Wow what a perfect couple" and you know what that's 99.99% of the problem. They are what I like to call the Great on paper relationship. Written out they look great and you'd think they were destined to be together forever but in the real world they just aren't meant to be.

In our last conversation I told her the problems as I see them from her end and she called me old fashioned and as usual told me I just don't understand because *insert earplugs* You and Black have been together forever, BLAH BLAH BLAH, he was your first love, BLAH and the list went on. Whether or not she takes my advice is up to her, I suspect she won't and their relationship will end but in the meantime I'll share my thoughts:

*When they met she found EVER REASON in the book not to date him, none of which were legitimate. She was scared because he's a bit of a pretty boy. So she went in with doubt that she wasn't good enough for him and I think it only got worse as they stayed together. How did she cope? She broke him down any chance she got.My advice months ago was for her to seek some therapy and work on whatever her issues might be.

* She never spent time with him ONLY. There was always the next party, the next this that or the other and it always included all of her friends. If I was him I'd get tired of always being with her single girl friends too.

*She's a runner. She talks a REAL big game but when the shit is thrown her way, she's off on the dash. Her feelings are easily hurt and so her only option is to turn away. And usually she turns to the friends that have been giving her the worst advice. *sigh*

And lastly, Every issue she had with him she shared with the world. She put it on FB, she told all her friends and LORD knows what she would have said if she was on twitter. The point is this if you're trying to build something with someone the whole world does not need to know every step you make. That really just becomes a doorway to disaster. Facebook shouldn't be where you run to let your 15,000 friends know you're not happy with something the man sitting across from you is doing (neither should twitter). And your friends shouldn't either, sure you need someone to vent to we all do but you need to know who you're venting too. Your friend of 20 years still might not have your best interest at heart if she's on the dating scene, her vision may be clouded. And your married friends might not be helpful either, the only people that can help fix a relationship are the people IN the relationship. I firmly believe that if you keep relying on others opinions of your relationships, your relationship won't succeed. So I advised her to speak to him, he's the only one that can fix what you see as broken.

So with all of that, I figured she'd understand when I told her they are slow dancing in a burning room, it's just a matter of time before someone gets hurt and then it's too late. Hey but what do I know, I don't understand. Yada Yada Yada.

Go the F**k to Sleep

2011-06-16T05:16:00.000-04:00

Where the heck was this book when I was battling with C.J every night for a year to go to sleep.LOL! ENJOY.

My favorite line, How come you can do all this other great shit but you can't lie the fuck down and sleep" LOL!

Pretty Simple question:

2011-06-10T05:00:00.000-04:00

Racism is an illness, are you sick?

ALL OF THIS

2011-06-09T11:21:00.000-04:00

I recently witnessed some catty, passive aggressive BS on my Twitter timeline and ugh I was completely turned off by it. Not many things get under my skin, not that I'm all heartless and have no feelings but I just don't have the time to take on other people's drama. I often go to @SmartysWorld to vent my frustration I feel about people and their passive aggressive BS, I always start the same way "I'm not built to deal with catty women and their insecurities" and what I mean by that is if you're either of those things DON'T direct that shit my way in any form or fashion. I'd rather you just remove yourself from my circle.

So imagine my glee when I found this quote:

"I have always despised the whining yelp of complaint and cowardly resolve." -Robert Burns, Scottish Poet known as the Bard of Ayrshire

Yes Mr.Burns, you've hit then nail on the head with this one. I'm sure I'll be using this one a lot. As a matter of fact let me go change my FB status right now.

Beating a dead horse

2011-06-07T00:18:00.002-04:00

Lately I've been unmotivated, I don't want to write and I feel not one bit of guilt about it. Some might say oh you just need to take a break and their right but it's not from blogging, it's from reading blogs. Why? Because every blog is talking about the same thing, and though the take on it is slightly different it's still all the same things. Here are just a few that have just taken me over the edge:

1. Black women have issues and that's why they are not married. YES we get it there is a sect of Black women that have issues and can't seem to stay in a healthy relationship. Well what is the fix for this? Is it 10 gazillion angry Black men writing blogs about why they don't date Black women? NO. That just reinforces the negativity and that doesn't help anyone grow. It just leaves everyone stuck. And I'm here to tell you this is not a Black women's issue. This weekend I witness a white woman basically begging her long term boyfriend to at least propose to her. She told him "if you can afford to take me to Aruba, then you can afford my ring" O_o

2. Natural vs. Non-Natural hair ENOUGH ALREADY! WE get it you've made the big chop, your hair is chemical free and you love it. GOOD FOR YOU! But do you need to talk about it every single solitary moment of the day? NO. And do you need to bash your sisters that chose to keep their hair permed? NO! Your Natural hair makes you no more down for the uplifting of Black people than the girl with the perm (maybe the girl with the $30 lace front, but that's another story). So cut it out. Love who you are inside and out because one day you could lose all that natural hair and then what?

3. Dark skin vs. Light skin What the hell year is this? it's not 1955 and if someone dares to ask you to take the brown paper bag test, slap the shit out of them and move one. I'm just tired of it all. I thought we were past the light skin, ,long hair times. Like who you like but stop comparing and degrading others. It's fine that you like a light skin chick but you don't need to wear a shirt broadcasting it. And it's fine or a dark skin woman to think she is the shit! Because it probably has nothing to do with her skin complexion but her achievements in life.. Ever think about that? So just cut it out.

4. ALL of you women, stop talking about how independent you are. Independence comes with security so it you're tweeting, posting and blasting Independent women in your car ALL THE TIME, Chances are you ain't that independent. So let's stop fronting, cause there's no future in it. This goes for single and married women.

Oh I could go on and on but I won't because this will turn into a book. All in all this comes down to knowing who you are, loving who you are and not worrying about what others think about you. It works for me.

R.I.P Gil Sott-Heron

2011-05-28T07:31:00.001-04:00

Last night at around 8:00 my twitter feed blew up with news that Gil Scott-Heron has passed away. Not always trusting news of death on twitter because that just couldn't be so. But sadly it was. Gil Scott-Heron was a legend, he lived a hard life tainted by addiction and jail time but in my opinion the message he gave us through his music and poetry outshines the trouble times.

R.I.P Gil Scott-Heron, a messenger, a legend.You will never be forgotten.

My favorites:

Probably his most famous:

Support the Arts

2011-05-27T09:46:00.001-04:00

See that little girl up there in the not so clear picture (thank you blackberry) she dreamed of being a dancer. She wore tutu's and couldn't wait for December because that's when Alvin Ailey performed! Somewhere down the line she decided that maybe a career outside of the arts would be a better choice, but she still loves to dance, she still loves music and she still gets a tingle every December when Alvin Ailey performs. All grown up and still supporting the arts I was super excited when Ritzi Cortez asked me to spread the word about her new angsy rock musical... *squeal* you all know I love a musical!

Trouble - a brand new rock/pop musical is coming to New York for four days only, as part of the Midtown International Theatre Festival. A high octane tale of 6 teenagers experiencing the highs and lows of growing up. With a pulsing rock score by UK composer Ella Grace, fresh exciting choreography by Jennifer Weber and honest, moving story by book writer and director Michael Alvarez, Trouble is set to be a night to remember. Get your ticket now before they sell out!

Tickets $18/ $15 concessions. Get your ticket at the early bird price of $15 if you book before the 27th of May. (Please use the code ADVA when booking to take advantage of this offer) www.troublethemusical.com or www.midtownfestival.org

I don't think I've ever seen a REAL rock musical but I'm intrigued and have already purchased my ticket! You all need to get on it so that you can save with the early bird discount. YEAH for discounts, it is a recession after all. The show runs July 28th -31st, so come on out and support the arts.

Thank You again to Ritzi for putting me on to this awesome show.

Be Prepared

2011-05-25T01:00:00.003-04:00

When I was about 8 or 9 I joined a girl scout troop and the motto for all scouts is be prepared. You performed task, you earned badges for being prepared. You could earn badges for all kinds of things like

~ getting fit
~ attending a girl scout trip
~ going to a museum
~ helping the elderly
~ Being raped.... *RECORD SCRATCH*

I'm pretty sure that wasn't in the girls scouts code in the 1980's but I think if any Girl scouts or Den Mother's in Kentucky want to be able to protect themselves they might need to add that you know as a precaution. You're probably asking why the hell am I making such a ridiculous statement? Well here's why, earlier this week Kansas Rep Peter DeGraaf made the comment that being raped (and subsequently being impregnated by the attacker) is just like having a flat tire. If you don't believe me click here: What a Monster and read for yourself.

This outlandish comment was made after DeGraaf approved a ban on health insurance companies not covering abortions with standard coverage. DeGraff also suggested that rape victims not be covered. When his colleagues disagreed and challenged him (I'd like to think hell was raised) he simply responded

"We do need to plan ahead, don't we, in life?""I have a spare tire on my car.""I also have life insurance," he added. "I have a lot of things that I plan ahead for."

REALLY? How does a woman plan ahead for physically and mentally violation? Rape is not like a stolen kiss, it's a crime. Men that commit rape often have issues with power and want to dominate the woman they are violating. There is no way to prepare for that! But I guess DeGraaf thinks that if you scream loud enough or ask the perpetrator to use a condom, you're prepared. You've prevented a possible pregnancy, while losing your mind, body and soul. There is no victory in that.

When I was in college I attended a take back the night event on campus, none of the women in the crowd or that spoke that night thought yeah well IF I WAS PREPARED I wouldn't feel violated. No they we're scared, hurt and would fight their entire life to overcome the violent nature of these crime.We all cried that night, we bonded and we vowed to stand by each other if ever this was to happen to anyone we loved, that is as prepared as we will ever be.

I posted this article on my FB page because it needed to be shared. People need to see that at every turn, the g.o.p under the disguise of conservatism is attacking women. They use religion, the bible, and labels like traditional institutions and family values to put you in your place. Your womanhood is a threat to their manhood (and their stepford wives) and therefore your rights need to be taken away. It's a disgusting trend that seems to be sweeping across this country. I don't wish harm on any women and I pray that for DeGraaf sake he never has to be the man on the other end of the phone that hears his wife, daughter, grand daughter or any women in his family has been victimized. That they were not prepared.

It doesn't matter what your stance on abortion we all need to stand up and tell DeGaaf that his comments and stance on rape are unacceptable. His information is listed in the link before but just in case here they go again:

DeGraaf's Web site:
office number as 785-296-7693
home phone as 316-777-0715 -
1545 E. 119th St. Mulvane, KS 67110
Email:petedegraaf@att.net or pete.degraaf@house.ks.gov

2011 baby making mix

2011-05-14T22:02:00.000-04:00

This challenge from my lil sis @Mzinspiredmind was to put together a booty call mix based off music from 2010-2011, and since I'm a masochist I accepted. I really don't listen to a lot of music that is on the radio because it just lacks quality. It's the same old message and it annoys me, but a challenge is a challenge. Girly I had to add a few songs from 2009 I hope you don't mind ;P.

1. "The Point of it All" Anthony Hamilton

2. "Bodies" Cee-Lo

3. "Maybe she'll dream of me" The Foreign Exchange

4. "Amorous" Jessie Boykin III

5. "Softest Lips" Eric Roberson

6."One and Only" Adele

Wait this turned out not to be as hard as I thought. There are so many song I could put on this list from the last two years but I think it might be overkill.

So what songs would be on your baby making list, leave them in the comment section and if I don't already have them i'll make sure to get them soon!

Secret obsession

2011-05-10T00:12:00.004-04:00

*stands up and brushes hair*

Hello my name is Krishna D. and I'm addicted to Criminal Minds.
It started out of sheer boredom and annoyance that nothing was ever on these 1028 channels I pay for. I remember it like it was yesterday (even though it was actually) laying on the sofa flipping channels when I happened upon my first episode, it was about Agent Morgan. He was being accused of killing little black boys in the neighborhood he grew up in. I was hooked! And I've never looked back. I've spent hour upon hour watching this show, my DVR is full of episodes I've saved for my husband too watch and I'm recording them every night. The story lines intrigue me, they confirm a lot of what I already thought about the world and that only makes me want to watch more.Then there are the great quotes opening and closing the show! I've used a few in blog post and I get super excited when I know who the quote is from. Too Nerdy?...meh I don't care I love it!

Somehow I've managed to incorporate the show into my every day life. Like on Saturday while chatting with my sister she asked me about a conversation we had the day before. I was suppose to tell her something but I couldn't remember. I told her she could blame the B.A.U for my lack of memory. She laughed hysterically, I wasn't joking. I was crushed that I wasn't home in time for the marathon on Sunday but quickly got over that because I had actually seen all of the episodes they were showing. LOL!

I figure I could have a worse obsession like a man, or stalking of a man so this is pretty harmless. Sure it's made me feel like I could profile every shady person I encounter but I think that just makes me a little more cautious. Especially when it comes to C.J. These are all good things, right? Of course they are.

I won't stop watching Criminal Minds until the show it taken off the air, I only wish I listened to my sisters a few years ago and started watching then. Come to think of it I think I was wrapped up in some HBO show at that time.... hmm maybe I won't give up Criminal Minds but a little TV time.

Monday Morning Rant

2011-05-09T09:13:00.000-04:00

It's starting to get warm here people are shedding layer, some with great new looks others..... well that's not important. With that comes the men and their advancements. In a former life I was would get annoyed when men approach me on the street because usually its just a bad time. But as I've gotten older I've learned to ignore or just smile and politely let them know I'm not interested. A few men have gotten upset, some did not either way I've kept my cool.

However there is always one time always annoys me to no end, that is the approach when I'm with my child. I find it rude and though I'm forced to keep calm I will usually bless a man out without C.J's knowledge. I just find it to be incredibly rude and a thinking man would know that a woman's focus should be on her child. NOT HIS ADVANCES, unless your some crazy kid snatching team like on Criminal Minds. What? This stuff happens but I've gone on a tangent.
The point of all of this is that men be smarter when you approach a woman. Most women are very guarded when they are with their kids and the snarky, GTFOH response you get is your own damn fault. Your intentions might be innocent, but to a mother you just look like a predator. And with that you've already lost the battle.

**And really please stop asking questions like "are you happily married?" Its a dumb question.**

Career Day

2011-05-05T05:00:00.004-04:00

How did I get myself into this? I screamed in the phone to my husband. He laughs and says You'll be fine, its only JHS students and you still have a lot of time to prep so chill.

Man who asked him to be the voice of reason?

This is just a glimpse into the crazy feelings I've had since I submitted the form for career day at my JHS. What will I tell these young impressionable girls and boys? Do I speak about wall street in general or just about what I do now? I mean I've made my way around the st....wait that doesn't sound right. I've worked in several fields and have failed at some, but succeeded at many more. Do kids even care about trading and Transaction cost? Standard deviation, do i dare? Well probably not because Economics degree and all that shit still confuses me. LOL

I'm sure you might wonder why would I freak out over a JHS lecture, well P.S.189 is a special school. Unlike any public school I've ever known and how I present myself is VERY important. In my 8 years there I was a shy, book nerd (not much has changed, despite what you hear). Several teachers and the principal Ms. Bruno nurtured me and coaxed me out of my shell, making sure when I left their cozy nest I was ready for the real world. They knew my Mom and knew she didn't play, not with anyone and definitely not with my education. They were just as invested in my success.

So my return to this school after 22 years means a lot more than just oh I want to speak about what I do. It's the chance for me to show that all the energy put into me has paid off. In short my success whether big or small in some way are because of them and I want to share that with these kids.

**Now what do I wear?**

Respect your elders....

2011-05-02T12:34:00.000-04:00

My mother spoke those words to me at a very young age and for the most part i live by it. But sometimes there are times when elders just cross the damn line and I find myself not able to live by my moms words of wisdom.

Example: a woman maybe in her late 50s was on the train with me and a seat opened up. I was about to offer it to her when she pushed by me causing me to drop my iPod. I was very upset but didn't say anything until she said " maybe if you weren't in the way that wouldn't have happened" to which I replied "I have no tome for this immature nonsense. Clearly all that gray hair hasn't made you wiser so this is a losing battle."

I know, I know if my mother would have heard me she would have been appalled. But look she didn't have to say anything but sorry and since she didn't respect me enough to apologize for almost breaking my iPod i didn't have a problem showing her no respect. I'm sure this lady assumed i was a child and that she could just say anything and maybe the girl would curse at her but you know what they say about assumptions....

I try my best to be respectful but if its not reciprocated its a losing battle. I understand that they've lived a long life and deserve the respect but living a long life doesn't mean you have the right to be nasty and rude. If anything you should be the happiest person on the earth.

2011-05-02T11:26:00.000-04:00

This is my President and I need him to be more like this on the regular. Not so much the funny but the cheeky "In your face assholes"

Things I've learned from twitter

2011-04-29T13:18:00.001-04:00

The Royal Wedding edition:

Now those of you that know me, know I don't give two flying F$%Ks about the Royal, the wedding none of that stuff. I do love the history behind them but that's another post all together. Anyway this morning the world stopped because William and Kate were married. I was on my way to work but twitter kept me quite entertained, here are a few of the things I learned about the Royal Wedding and the watchers.

Harry is the cooler brother and will have the kids drunk

When the Prince waves, the Princess looks down..interesting.

Princess Catherine's dress was whoa! Thank you Alexander McQueen, by Sarah Burton.

The Queen took a cat nap, shes my idol!

If you were watching the royal wedding you probably havent had sex this year.

If you werent watching and question why every media outlet has been covering it all week you probably havent had sex EVER.

The Brits are funny!

The Royal wedding cost a shit load of taxpayers money, but the taxpayers get a three day weekend. #score.

Did i mention the dress?

her sister looked lovely as well, she wore McQueen by Sarah Burton as well.

The hymns sung at the Royal wedding are hymns we sing here. Go figure since we're all Christians #shrug

There was a Royal wedding viewing in Times Square with music.

People are comparing the coverage to MJ's death.

A LOT of my followers in the States are going to be hella tired.

There is so much more and I never had to turn on the TV to watch. Thank you twitter.

Oh and what i learned from the Jamaican woman on the bus " Gal 'dis a bittasweet moment, his mutha is the only one dem missing" this is true.

Now I hope we can all wish them a happy and successful marriage and more importantly move on with our lives.

Your Papers Darkie

2011-04-28T05:39:00.000-04:00

Last night I debated back and forth whether I would write anything about the "birthers" and the release of the President's birth certificate.. Yes it's a hot button issue for the Repub/Tea party members but for the life of me I can't understand WHY?!
If you've been missing from the world in the last few weeks donald trump a candidate for the republican nomination has been speaking out his ass on a daily basis about President Obama's birth certificate and his legal right to hold the job. When he first started I was sure that eventually the news media would try to just squash this but it's continued and people are actually taking this seriously. *SIGH*

Where are we? South Africa in the 70's, or the USA in the 1800's, will all people of a darker hue need to start working around with their "Free Man" papers. This (as well as the request to see his grades) is outrageous and a flash back to when Black men had to prove that they were indeed free by providing papers.
A time when Black people were looked at as cattle and property unless by some mistake they were freed and could reach for the so called American dream.

On some levels I wish President Obama had never released his birth certificate and told them to go F$%K themselves, but I have to believe that he just wants it to stop. Because if it stops we won't be blinded by this reality show "Republican party nominee" but start pay attention to the real issues like the fact that the Ryan Paul budget will be voted on stripping middle class and poor people of necessary programs. I have to believe that like Martin, Malcolm and many others he is willing to sacrifice himself so that we don't get left behind fighting for the wrong things. I have to believe this in order to not lose my shit every day as I ride from the suburbs listening to the white people tear down the President for no other reason that his skin is dark. I'm sure there will be some naysayers that believe this is wasn't about race, but these people are idiots. This is NOTHING MORE than a White is Right, Black is WRONG issue. In the history of this country no other President has been asked to provide any proof of where they were born, or how they became a great student and graduated magna cum laude from any university. They were just accepted low C average, southern farmer drawl and all.

I listened as Goldie Taylor spoke on The Rachel Maddow show about her article on why he shouldn't have shown the birth certificate and what rang out most to me was this " When they say the want to take their country back, they mean from us"....

The END

For the Love of all things...

2011-04-16T08:32:00.000-04:00

I don't speak about fashion much on this blog because I really do feel like the choices people make in what they wear is theirs alone. Even if it offends my sense of style, or blinds me temporarily it's their choice, however there are just some things that make me wonder WHY? WHY dear Lawd WHY?!

Just to refresh your memory here are the things I have asked Why Lawd, why about more than once... with a new addition:

Flip Flops... Not wearing them but wearing them anywhere other than the BEACH! Do you know what kind of nastiness you pick up on your feet walking around NYC with flip flops on, BLECH! Just gross.

Uggs: Shoes that make your feet look like loaves of bread. Meh don't get it.

Jeggings: We're skinny jeans just not enough? We need leggings that look like jeans too.

And now Junderpants!!!

I learned about Junderpants while sipping tea and reading New York Magazine's The Cut. I had to log off because I was it was just so disturbing. I should have headed the warning on the blog and covered my eyes! Damn my curiosity. The Junderpant is kind of like a jean short short (or Jort) only stretchy. Is this the male version of those god awful pajama jeans? I don't even know what to make of this mess, but I'm sure I'll see some in NYC. *Logs back off life*

Love is You!

2011-04-15T10:36:00.001-04:00

Five years ago at a firm far far away I met a friend for life, he's smart, sensitive and on more occasions than not a jerk because he's so damn honest. This weekend in the lovely city of New Orleans he will marry the most amazing woman and I couldn't be happier for them. Sadly I won't be in attendance but I thought it would be nice to dedicate today's post to them.

Ryan and Maggie we love you very very much and we wish for you all the love and happiness in the world. Marriage is a blessing but you two were blessed a long time ago when you first found each other.

*psst Maggie, here's your song, No Tupac though*

With all our love!

KRD, CJ, CWF

Let's Move

2011-04-12T11:05:00.002-04:00

Whether you've just started working out today or have been doing it your entire life, it's important that you 1) do it and enjoy it. There is nothing worse than a boring, workout because it kills your motivation. Our First lady has been very active in speaking out about childhood obesity but the epidemic doesn't start or end with your kids. We as adults need to also adopt the get up and move theory. When I work out at home I make sure to have C.J. working out right along with me, and though he gets crazy and starts doing flips he's moving and I can't be mad.

The Let's Move Campaign has been getting a lot of attention and now Beyonce has gotten in on the mix. I enjoyed it this so much I had to re-post it (thanks @dawsonink), I felt like I was in a real dance class. Enjoy and get your little girls and boys up and out and let's fight obesity in a fun effective way.

I really want to get my nieces to do this and record it, let's see if I can make that happen.

Stop this train

2011-04-11T09:26:00.003-04:00

"See once in a while when it's good

It'll feel like it should

And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark" -- John Mayer

This weekend while relaxing with no real firm plans I started thinking about how fast paced my life actually is now. Between my career, friends, marriage and trying to be a great mother I barely have time to breathe. I'm not complaining because I wouldn't have it any other way but I did have moment of "remember when your life was slower and YOURS". I think every mother has these moments, if they are honest with themselves. Hell every woman has that moment whether it be about career, whether to marry that good guy, decisions to have or don't have kids...the list goes on (and yes men have them too).

I remember when my only thoughts we're will my Nana let me lay on her bed while she watches "murder she wrote", now I barely have time to see her (I call everyday) and its a terrible feeling. Or will my mom let us ride our bikes off the block *looks at dusty bike*

I understand more and more the lyrics of the song quoted above because, sometimes I feel like if this train slowed down I'd be able to regroup, redo and live and delay having to worry about grown up worlds. Ah youthful thinking! So what do you do when you know that you can't slow down life? Well I am deciding to live a little more for the moment, starting with a week long vacation. C.J. will be with me but we will be out and about no matter the weather (Well with the exception of the devil's salt). I think that will help with my mood and my want to slow down life a little.

Revolution

2011-04-05T05:34:00.004-04:00

This morning when I woke up the news was full of pictures from the protest in Yemen. My first thought was, in the 36 years I've been alive revolution has always looked the same to me no matter where it took place. And even before I was born the tails of revolution and change were the same.

Birmingham Civil Right movement

The Civil Rights Movement

Burma

South Africa Apartheid

South African protest during Apartheid

Yemen 2011

It always look the same, in 36 years it has always looked the same.

2011-04-04T04:00:00.001-04:00

Last weekend several bloggers were in town visiting the city. with the exceptions of a few mishaps we had a great time. As per the rules I set, there will be no post about it, but there wasn't really anything ratchet to laugh about. Instead this post is more what I learned about myself.

1. My life is in constant motion. On Friday as I waited for Smarty and Butta_fly to arrive, I cleaned the bathroom, watched 2 episodes of Criminal minds, field calls from my husbands side of the family, spoke with TM, the Jaded NYer and Diapia on IM and still was dressed and ready for them when they arrived. Oh and did I mention I was also doing work as it was a work from home day. HOW DO I managed to do all of this and not pass out every night? I don't know the answer all I can think is that how I function, because when I stop moving I ALWAYS get sick.

2. I am a control freak. I want things perfect, no glitches, no excuses. And when it doesn't work out I get upset and so annoyed that it takes a huge effort to calm me down.

3. Hosting is not easy. Though my guest were perfect and laid back, with a child and husband in the mix it's hard to be the hostess with the mostest. I thank both these lovely ladies for being so patient.

4. ME + a rooftop and drinks = HAPPY CAMPER. After dinner I decided that I will take this summer and conquer as many rooftop bars and restaurants as my little budget can handle. I feel so calm when I'm up looking down on the world.

5. My sense of style needs a tweek in common sense, I'm never ever wearing heels out to dance again. Okay that's not completely accurate, I will not wear 5 inch platforms out to dance again. By the time I got those boots off I never wanted to see another pair of shoes again.

So these are a few things I've learned about myself. I had a great time with great people and though I had to go off on twitter on Monday about folks not acting like adults and blaming others. I still had a ball. I can't wait for all of the ladies to get back together and do it again.

What do we do now...

2011-03-24T09:47:00.001-04:00

I haven’t had a lot to say in the last few weeks but this morning after I dropped CJ off to school, I felt the need to share my feelings about the children I see on the train. Not about their clothes or the way they speak (though I will touch on that) but more about the feelings I have when I listen to them.

This mornings journey from Long Island to Brooklyn found me in a conversation with a teenage girl, when she asked me how much my shoes cost. When I asked her why, she said because she wanted to ask her mom to get her a pair just like mine. I was shocked. My guess was she was about 17 but when I smiled and asked how old she was, she said 14. 14, FOURTEEN! What in the world does a 14 year old need with 4 ½ inch suede high heels shoes (man sometimes I have to wonder why I need them and I have a job and clearly an addiction). She said her mom was cool with it, and then I looked at what she had on with her leggings, no underwear (#thugtears) thigh high boots and a cropped leather jacket. That outfit didn’t scream I’m here to learn.

Anyway that little conversation made me pay attention to all of the kids around. They all had on the same kind of outfits, even the girls in their uniforms of khaki colored slacks looked as though they were wearing leggings because they were skin tight. My first thought was where are these kids parents! When I was that age Patsy knew what I was wearing because for the most part she bought all of my clothes. If something was tight, too short or God forbid I didn’t wear a slip my mother would quickly point that out (and if she didn’t my Nana would). Now I don’t think that parents need to make sure these kids are wearing slips (even though proper undergarments will save your life) but really you don’t think that it’s inappropriate that your daughter’s ass is jiggling all up and down Flatbush avenue. If you give your daughter $100 she comes back with skin tight pants why don’t you take them back? You tell her to go get a skirt and she comes back with a mini and some leggings and you go cool? NOPE. That’s not how it works. I remember my sister telling me that once she bought shoes from Bakers and my mom made her take them right back. LOL. I’m sure they were not sky high stilettos but they were cheap and that was a NO. I get it that styles change, I mean here I am as a teenager:

Girbauds hanging baggy, Hilfiger on the top…. That was the style. But this is not just about style, this is about the mindset of these kids. It seems that they really just want to be grown ups now and screw being a kid. I could get on my high horse and blame these artist, music videos, and the oversexed nature of the world but I won’t. I place the burden of blame on the parents, the families, the people that should be blamed because they are not guiding these children and helping them to understand that what you see on TV is not real. When I was teenager there was a dancer in the "Buddy" video with a platinum stripe up the front of her flat top. I WANTED THAT SO BAD, Patsy took me to get a press and curl. When Mc Lyte wore a asymmetrical mushroom Patsy took me to get a press and curl. I wasn’t on TV, I could fantasized until the cows came home but until I had my own money, there was none of that mess. My mother was a parent first, and she made choices for me that assured no one would think I was anything other than the young woman she was raising.

And that is it right there, we are not raising young woman anymore. We're leaving our girls out in the wind expecting them to figure it all out. And sadly there are several generations at this point caught up in that. So how do we fix this? Do we just right them off as the bad seeds or do we as a community of women get together and raise up the baby girls.

*goes off to make a change*