This weekend as I prepared for the long week ahead of me I got a call from an unknown number. My first thought was not to pick up but with all the things going on in my circle I thought better and answered. I am so glad I answered.It was one of my best friends from college who I haven't spoken to since CJ's first birthday. This guy was one of the few men close enough to be called my brother, close enough to call me every night and my husband not bat an eyelid. But as we both got more involved career wise and our families started to grow we didn't have time for daily calls, even though we would send the occasional text.
The conversation I had with my friend felt like we had just spoken the night before, we picked up so easily and it made me happy. When we finally hung up and I got over all the news he had shared I started thinking about the many friends I've had and lost, and I realized they fall into three categories.
There was the friend that needed to speak to you everyday, not because they wanted you to speak but because they needed a sound board for their misery. This "friend" would get mad when you didn't have time for their calls, or had other things to do and would be quick to tell you what a poor friend you were. As I grew older my tolerance for people like this grew short and I disassociated myself with them. Back then I just stopped answering the phone, it was easier that way. I learned to spot people like this instantly and walked the other way, my selfishness detector is like no other.
Then there was the friend that would seek out my advice, but once I said something they didn't like it turned into the debate from hell or a conversation about why my advice wasn't valid but a judgement. *sigh* How did I deal with these people for so long. The difference here is I learned to value what others say, and I might not agree with you, your feelings and opinions are valid and I don't have the right to be dismissive. Maturity allowed me to free myself of these people and though my circle of friends grew smaller I realized it was the strongest it's ever been. They continue to share my omni-verse and I wouldn't have it any other way. My friends are spread across the n the globe and even though I don't get to speak with them I know that if I needed to they'd be there, no attitudes, no judgment and for that I am grateful. It's wonderful to have people that support your every move, crazy dreams and encourages your crazy :).
***********************************************Years of digging through the friendship bin has paid off and I know these people know our friendships will last longer than any phone call.